An interesting birthday party

by boyzone 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  boyzone

  There was I all ready for a fantastic night out down the local pub to celebrate my boss's birthday. Me, hubby and all the gang from work were there dressed in our fabulous 70's retro gear ready to partayy. There's me dressed in a sleek fitting psychadelic mini dress with platform silver boots and a blonde wig.

  The place is packed, and I mean heaving. 3 deep at the bar I finally stagger back to our table in my heels and little dress, drinks in hand, only to look straight into the eyes of sister June Morgan!. To top it all she was sitting at a table just by us with 8 other sisters all from my former congregation.

  shit.

  I get back to our table and start to laugh hysterically at the irony of it. The looks started to come my way from the dubs with increasing frequency as they realised it was me. I don't think they were too sure to begin with, partly due to the wig and dress but also because I'd lost 5 stone since leaving.

  Now what? My gut reaction was to go home. The last thing I needed was the gossip mongers to head straight for my JW dad which would've ended up in a lecture from him about vomit eating dogs etc.

  But then I thought, what am I doing?? I'm a 44 year old woman, not a child. Why do I care what they think, or for that matter what my dad thinks. I figured the very best way of handling this was to show them I can have a great time without them. So thats exactly what I did.

  A large glass of wine later I was on the tables dancing the night away with the rest of our party. I still got quite a few looks but I think alot of them weren't so much disaproving ones but jealousy. Well, I like to think so anyway, just humour me on that one.

  Of course the icing on the cake was when the DJ insisted we all sang Happy Birthday and raise a glass to my boss. I sang my heart out with the best of them which sealed it with the witnesses and they scurried enmasse for the exit.

  As expected dad paid me a visit this afternoon to "just ask what I'd been up to this weekend?" "Oh nothing much" I replied. He hesitated then tried again. "Did you do anything INTERESTING?" (stressing the "interesting") I said yes we went to a party, it was a good night and we all had a really good time. Then the clincher. "was it a birthday party?" LOL!! "Yes dad - do you want a cuppa?" said I, trying to change the subject.

  And then to my surprise, he dropped the subject. I get the feeling he just wanted confirmation so he could feedback to elders. Now this doesn't bother me at all as I disassociated and the elders have no hold on me. But my husband Andrew is a baptized bro - a fader, and I get the feeling there could be consequences for him.

  hmm, what do you reckon, is Andrew in trouble? I think we could be in for a visit. I'll let you know if anything comes of it.
• 

  BabaYaga

  It never ceases to amaze me how much of a hold that terrifying organization still has over our hearts and minds... and thus our emotional reactions.

  You handled it perfectly. Bravo.
• 

  undercover

  But then I thought, what am I doing?? I'm a 44 year old woman, not a child. Why do I care what they think, or for that matter what my dad thinks. I figured the very best way of handling this was to show them I can have a great time without them. So thats exactly what I did.

  It's empowering, isn't it? All those years of tippy-toeing around hoping to not upset someone else's sensibilities never realizing that anything you did could meet with disapproval from someone in the congregation. When you let all that go and just have fun, you realize that you don't owe anyone any justification for your actions.

  But my husband Andrew is a baptized bro - a fader, and I get the feeling there could be consequences for him. hmm, what do you reckon, is Andrew in trouble?

  Well...it depends on how bad they want to make an example of someone. If he's been fading and isn't active and doesn't claim JW status, they could just let sleeping dogs lie. OTOH...if you've got some hardass elders who just like to play bigshot, they could make a stink, especially since there were several witnesses to the event. You won't know until you get the call or visit. This may be his 'take a stand' moment. It's great to fade away but sometimes, something happens where you have to just stand up for yourself and refuse to cooperate with their witch hunt.
• 

  Pandoras cat11

  Glad you had a good time!! The cat in me would come out though and wonder what was Sister June Morgan and company doing at a club that was three deep at the bar!!! Sounds like they were there a long time. If they are like most of the J.W.'s I know, they were pretty sloshed themselves. I like to have a good time too----but I don't tattle to grown adults Mommy and Daddy that their daughter was having a good time. They should look at themselves in the mirror first. SHEESH.

  Oh yeah---they were supposed to follow the scriptures in Matthew and speak to you first. Or if they are submissive little Stepford wives they would have told their husbands and they in turn would have talked to your hubby. (GAG)
• 

  boyzone

  Hi Baba, undercover and Pandoras Cat.

  Yes its empowering! Once I let go of the fear of them, I had a great time. None of us were drunk, I just had 2 glasses of wine, just enough to loosen up and enjoy the night. Hubby was the same, he had a couple of pints but the dancing on tables in this place is a must, its what the place is famous for.

  The elders can blow hot and cold on their strictness I think it depends how many other things they've got going on. My son had left the congregation for 6 months when the same elders did everything they could to get in touch with him despite the avoidance tactics he employed. In the end they got him and asked him the loaded question "do you still want to be known as a JW?". Of course the answer was no, so he's now disassociated.

  Yet my husband stopped going 4 years ago apart from the occassional memorial and they've left him alone. But of course, now they've got more than 2 witnesses to him celebrating a "pagan" birthday so they might use this against him especially as he still has contact with some witnesses through work.

  PANDORAS CAT - Yes it makes you wonder why all those sisters were there on a Saturday night and they know the place is famous for its dancing on tables. They were all eating a meal which is no big deal, and I saw some get up and dance (not on the tables) but it was the "happy birthday" singing that finished it for them.

  This congregation has a history of tattling to my parents at every opportunity, thats one of the reasons why I resigned. I once said hello to a sister in the coffee shop where I worked. She ran straight to my parents house and told them what a lousy person I was, even crying on their shoulder because I'd "embarrassed" her like that. Mum and dad were offhand with me for weeks until I found out and put them straight on what really happened.

  So I guess we wait and see if we get the call. Andrew's a bit on edge but I think he's ready to take a stand.
• 

  hotspur

  Yay - go Girl! The whole "area" is known for it's tittle-tattle.

  I'll write to you later.