more fun with silly jw email forwards.....sheez

by troubled mind 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    latest email from my Elder Father in Law .I am sure he thinks this is awesome stuff that will guilt us right back to the KH . What he doesn't realize is that I now see through the illogical nonsense these emails are based on . Read on and feel free to leave your breakdown of the nonsense ....

    My first impression of the 1st illustration was : The legend of the bumblebee not being able to fly was based on incomplete science and by searching the internet there is information explaining how the urban legend began and how it has been defunct.

    Second illustration : What do the meals consist of ? if it is all junk food then it leaves you very unhealthy doesn't it ?


    1. Can a bumblebee fly?

    That was the question that a District Overseer asked group of pioneers in the pioneer meeting.

    'Can a bumblebee Fly?'
    Of course most of the pioneers thought for a minute but then all nodded. Yes. Bumblebees fly.

    Then he said that actually they can't.
    According to Science, physically, engineeringly, and aerodynamically speaking, it is IMPOSSIBLE for the Bumblebee to fly! Everything about the bumblebee, its shape, size and weight compared to the wing-lift ratio capabilities, indicates that it should NOT be able to fly at all.
    But nobody told the little bumblebee that he can't fly, so against the odds pertaining to the laws of physics, mathematical computations and engineering design, he goes on about his business, flying anyway.

    So, why does the bumblebee fly???
    Because our Creator makes it fly!

    Then he asked, 'Can you pioneer?'
    The answer is..
    'Of course not. Not according to the pressures and trials, the demands of this system.'

    So how is it that we are able to pioneer?
    The answer is ...

    'Because our Creator causes us to pioneer'.
    The point is there is NOTHING we can do on our own.
    EVERYTHING we can only accomplish things with the Creators help.

    2. The District Overseer talked about Peter walking on water.
    We know it wasn't an act of faith. Peter was only able to walk on water because of Jesus.
    Then he saw the storm coming and he fell through the water and almost drowned.

    "Sometimes ." The D.O .said,
    "We are so busy in Jehovah's Service, doing so many things no one thought we could do, not even ourselves some days.
    In essence we're walking on water because of Jehovah.

    Then we start thinking,... "wait a minute, what am I doing?

    I'm pioneering,
    I'm working,
    I've got so much stuff to do around the house.
    I've got Kids,
    meeting parts...OH NO!"
    This is all of the sudden getting really hard.
    The more I think about it!
    Oh, I'm getting sooooooo tired!
    I'm not supposed to be doing all this,
    it's just too much.
    My goodness!
    I'm falling through the water.'

    What a good point this is, isn't it?'
    He said.

    "Sometimes we discourage ourselves by thinking too much, worrying too much, looking at the storm and taking our eyes off of the one who makes the bumblebee fly."

    3. Why go to the Kingdom Hall?
    If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this!
    If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it.
    If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!

    So Why Go To The Kingdom Hall?
    A Christian wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to the Kingdom Hall every Sunday.
    'I've gone for 30 years now,' he wrote, 'and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 Public Talks. But for the life of me, I can't
    remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the brothers are wasting theirs by giving Bible-based talks at all.'

    This started a real controversy in the 'Letters to the Editor' column, much to the delight of the editor.
    It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

    'I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot
    Recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this ...They all nourished me and gave me the strength
    I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not
    gone to the Kingdom Hall for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!'

    When you are DOWN to nothing...Jehovah is UP to something!
    Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
    Thank Jehovah for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

  • m.seagull

    puke. i hate forwards and this one takes the cake.

    he probably counts time when he presses the send button.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Here's some of that nourishing JW spiritual food from 40 years ago:

    Awake! 1969 May 22 p.15
    "If you are a young person, you also need to face the fact that you will never grow old in this present system of things. Why not? Because all the evidence in fulfillment of Bible prophecy indicates that this corrupt system is due to end in a few years. ... Therefore, as a young person, you will never fulfill any career that this system offers. If you are in highschool and thinking about a college education, it means at least four, perhaps even six or eight more years to graduate into a specialized career. But where will this system of things be by that time? It will be well on the way toward its finish, if not actually gone!"

    Yes, by 1975 the old system of things was well on the way toward its finish, if not actually gone. It just takes faith to see the invisible armageddon in 1975.

    B the X

  • Waffles

    2/10 for the poopy bumblebee illustration

    I don't know whether to yawn or vomit over this email.

  • BonaFide

    The "Why go to the Kingdom Hall" is an old story that you can find on other churches websites with "church" instead of Kingdom Hall.


  • Kinjiro

    To think that once upon a time I fell for this crap! I mean most of us did... we swallowed it, savored it and even repeated it!

    To all I ever preached and cajoled and dissed in the name of this putrefact, blinding, nauseauting so called religion/cult/sect, I offer my apologies.. I just did not know better... but NOW I DO...


  • chickpea

    like my mama used to say
    if ya eat regular, ya sh!t too....

    ya know, i get out of bed
    everyday without worrying
    about a guy in the sky having
    a mote of interest in how i spend it

    what a crock of crap!

Share this