What Do You Guys Think?

by jamiebowers 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • jamiebowers

    I've been df'd for 21 years, and other than the heartbreak of my mom shunning me and the sad stories I read here, I NEVER thought the dirty rat bastard WB&TS could otherwise effect my life. Well, I was WRONG! My dear stepdaughter recently learned that her children's paternal grandfather has parents and siblings who are jws, some of whom were at my stepdaughter's baby shower this past Saturday. I've related to my stepdaughter how horrifying the jw take on Armageddon is on children and also that they do not alert congregants when there is a child molester in their midst.

    Although there hasn't been much contact with that side of the family, I'm worried that it may start. I've begged my stepdaughter to never leave the kids alone with a jw. She reasons that if the father of her children didn't know that his grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins were jws, that they mustn't be freakish enough about it to witness to the kids or try to drag them off to meetings where they could possibly be exposed to pedophiles. My answer to her was, "Well, I hope you don't learn a lesson about them through your kids' hard won experience."

    Should I say or do anything else? I'm thinking about speaking with their father, who absolutely hates organized religion and thinks the Bible is bullshit. What do you think? Should I speak to him or keep my mouth shut? Am I over reacting?


    Jamie..Talk to thier father..Form an allience..Your taking on the WBT$..You will need all the help you can get...........Trust me..These people play to win and they play dirty.................................OUTLAW

  • vikesgirl101

    Question: Do you know of a pedophiolist in the congregation you are referring to? If the answer is yes, then use all means to safeguard children: no questions asked.

    In my experience, I only know of one JW that was a pedophiolist (still too many). I can't say that it is an attribute that is connected with them neccessarily. However, The one that I know (In Northern Minnesota) abused many kids. He served time in jail, and was df'd. What is annoying is that he was reinstated within a few years. With as judgemental as JW's are, how can he be accepted back without wearing a sign at the meetings that says "Don't leave your kids with me"?

  • Waffles

    You're not overreacting at all. I see nothing wrong with taking any possible precaution.

    First, they lure someone in during a moment of weakness, showing some jackasses all wearing collared shirts and slacks by the side of a river, eating a piece of fruit, while a lion chews a piece of celery. "Wouldn't that be nice" they ask. Add some months of insidious propoganda and next thing you know, one of your kids is a living breathing judgemental closed-minded hate machine.

  • jamiebowers

    Thanks. I should learn to go with my gut, and it was telling me to talk to the kids' father about it. If I ever get a chance, I'd also like to get the scoop from his father as to whether he was raised a jw, is df'd, etc.

    Question: Do you know of a pedophiolist in the congregation you are referring to?

    Well, actually there would be at least two different congregations involved. And being that I was never a jw in Ohio, I wouldn't know what's going on in either one of them. And, the fact remains that jws aren't alerted when there is a pedophile in the congregation. No one except the elders, my mother and me knew about the molester in my congregation, because I was the one he molested.

  • wobble-reborn

    As JW's as an organization do not take Child Protection seriously , they only care about the WTB$'s reputation, I would alert the parents to all the dangers, whether you know of a paedophile in their midst or not is not relevant, the danger is very real.

    There are a number still associated, and in "good standing " at present, who are just a time bomb.

    Also the danger of being sucked (and suckered) into the Cult is real.



  • blondie

    This is what I think combined with my time in law enforcement, the court system, and my personal experience with pedophiles in the WTS.

    DO NOT, DO NOT assume that any child is safe just because they are not alone with a jw. Far more pedophilies masquerade as "normal" people in jobs and communities than just jws. The best thing to do is take precautions no matter what the situation. Most pedophiles are family members or close family friends.

    jws are not the only religious group that hides pedophiles.


    I would suggest contacting your local police department and any federal agency that specializes in education in this area.

  • jws

    I have sisters that are JW as well as my dad's wife. (My dad was, but passed away earlier this year.) I have young kids. I always worry about what these JWs will try to do to our children. Not in a pedophile way. In a brainwashing way.

    Being parents and older sisters, they may look and see that they failed to keep me a JW. They know I would never teach my kids any JW beliefs. Maybe they feel it is their duty to teach my children their "truth". Maybe they babysit and read them stories from the Bible Stories book. Or maybe they ad-lib and throw in JW beliefs. Something here and there to sort of mold their thinking.

    The father in your case rejects God and religion. They know they have failed with him. They might feel the need to educate the baby. Or, on the other hand, they may have written off that branch of the family years ago.

    You say they aren't present much. That could be because of how the father feels. My neice ran off with a guy, got married to him, and never went to a meeting again. She even got married in a church (gasp). My dad had very limited exposure to her or her kids. He'd go to her wedding, but otherwise, I didn't hear him talk about her or her kids much. Being out of state was a part of it, but I know her being a grown grandchild and a non JW was the other part. By now, this JW has probably written off this side of his family as worldly and other than the odd family event, you may never see or hear from them.

    On the other hand, I also live out of state, but my father seemed a lot more interested in my kids than my neice's kids. (Grand children vs. great-grandchildren?). I also had regular weekly contact with him.

    Feel it out. Your step-daughter may never hear from them until the next family event. But if they all of a sudden start coming around more, it's time to educate your family.

    I find it interesting that the father didn't know his grandfather was a JW. That shows there hasn't been much preaching going on. Maybe his father was DFed and the grandfather wont talk to him and hasn't come around much. Or it could be that his father made it clear early on that there was to be no religious talk. Your step-daughter, I would assume, would have been educated by you to stay away from JWs. I think you need to be premptive and have a talk about JWs with your step-daughter and the father.

  • joannadandy

    Yeah - I would like to echo Blondie's comments here -- reminders about sexual offenders are good - saying that just by keeping your kid out of a kingdom hall will keep them safe is simplistic and underestimation to say the least.

    I don't think you need to freak out - you said your piece, and I think that's all you can do. It sounds like extended family anyway -- I doubt they will have much of a role in the kids life to begin with.

    Just my thoughts.

  • jamiebowers

    Thanks for everyone's input. What made me really nervous is that despite the fact that the paternal great grandmother and great aunt who were at last Saturday's baby shower hadn't even met the two-year old yet, they brought presents for her and he four-year old sister. I just hope it was a one ime deal, and they don't have designs on those kids. What I need to do is speak to the kids' father and paternal grandfather to see what's going on with that side of the family. I've heard that the kids' father got his hatred for organized religion from his father.

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