i heard that he was out of prison and wanted to say a few things to him that i never did get chance to say during the investigation and court process (for obvious reasons ) his jw wife and family support him despite knowing he had abused other kids in the congregation and he is a disfellowshipped person (he was disfellowshipped for an affair , not child abuse) what annoyed me amongst many things he said was the fact that a jw was with him in his work setting that does not work there and he is not related to the man , so he was obviously just socialising with him despite knowing what he went to prison for , and he is the son in law of an elder ! so how come jws are allowed to mix with non family convicted child molesters that are also disfellowshipped but my hub is no longer welcome in his parents home after being disfellowshipped for years. this has all happened around the same time , maybe other jws have been upset about seeing the child molester mixing with jws and everyone local has had to suffer , any ideas on this strange situation?
i approached the child molester that abused my daughter
by looloo 9 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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MissingLink
Maybe the elders involved can relate to the child molester better than the apostate.
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The-Borg
I'm sorry but if he had abused my daughter it would be an oozie 9mm.
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happpyexjw
First Looloo, my heart goes out to you. Like many others on this board I have been touched by the WTs sick policies regarding child sexual abuse. Two of my daughters were molested by their paternal grandfather, as were numerous others which came to light after we reported what had happened to our children. This man recently died, so in some ways, this chapter has finally closed to a certain extent - at least we know he will never molest anyone again. (BTW he received a full witness funeral as a member in good standing and according to those who were there, he will be in paradise some day) I have spent the past 26 years waiting for this man to die, so I could stop worrying about other children. I cannnot imagine what it is like for you and your family to have this creep out on the loose. At least your creep went to prison - mine never received any kind of punishment, ever, not even from the congregation.
It is true that policies like those you describe in your post create terrible miscarriages of justice in the congregations. It does not seem to matter how serious the charges are when these cases are considered, and the safety of the children is handled as a minor consideration. I agree that being disfellowshipped for smoking while a child molester who is sent to prison is not, is totally outrageous! Unfortunately, we have the same kind of imbalance in the criminal justice system at times. Here in the states, a mentally ill woman who was convicted of prostitution received a 27 month sentence and died in custody recently because she was left ouside in a concrete cell with no shade for four hours in 104 degrees. On the other hand, we have had cases were parents have had children die due to gross neglect and they have received probation. Where is the justice in that?
The draconian rules that are used by judicial committees (under the direction of the WTS) and the fact that each congregation forms its own committees comprised of men (no women to add balance) who are often uneducated and ham-handed, with no experience in dealing with these issues, results in gross injustice in many cases. I have known some elders who are kind and really try to do the right thing, but I have also known many others who were mean spirited and arrogant, full of pride and enjoying their power. This is what has driven many people away from the WT. Your in-laws are merely carrying out the rules that have been hammered into them by the organization's leaders. Like all other faithful witnesses, they have given up their right to think for themselves and are allowing others to do it for them. Some of us who are now out have done the same thing in the past and looking back we have many regrets about how we have handled certain things in our lives - I know I do.
I am happy to hear that your family loves and accepts your husband. He is fortunate to have them and you in his life. The scorn of those good Christians who shun him is extremely hurtful and at times very confusing, as in the case with his parents. Continue to love and support him, and if you haven't already, get some counseling for your daughter. Depending on how old she was when she was assaulted, the worst of the damage doesn't manifest itself until the teen years. Keep an eye on her and get her help if you see any signs of depression, sleeplessness, anger, etc.
All the best to you,
Mary
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Lady Lee
Since your husband has chosen not to return to the JW he is assumed to be apostate. That is far worse than pedophilia.
Pedophiles are good conmen. They have to be and it isn't hard to convince people they are "cured" so they are no longer a danger.
They just don't get it
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cognac
Yeah - he should've been in prison forever... I would have had a difficult time not hurting him myself. My Dad was an elder and there was a molester in our hall for awhile. My dad didn't want anything to do with him and was very protective of us kids around him...
I don't believe all elders are like that. He's an a**...
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looloo
i was only physically able to approach him by detaching myself mentally from what he had done , which turned out to be so much worse than my daughter originally let on during the investigation, a year after he was sent to prison she told me that he had not only raped her on a regular basis as a 13 year old but got her pregnant too and she miscarried after he beat her and never even sought any medical help , she was in a dreadful state at the time and i had just thought she was suffering from depression as she clammed up when i tried to talk to her , the guilt i have carried arond for not even noticing has been awfull the last year , but shehas lots of counselling (so have i) and now has a kind and sweet boyfriend and finaly feels ready to move forward she is 22 now .
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purplesofa
Good for you for saying the things to him you wanted/needed to say.
the guilt i have carried arond for not even noticing has been awfull the last year , but she has lots of counselling (so have i) and now has a kind and sweet boyfriend and finaly feels ready to move forward she is 22 now .
Guilt is a horrilbe thing to carry around, I remember talking to a counsellor about this and she told me it was the hardest thing I would have to overcome, that, and self-blame.
Sounds like you both are doing well now, sorry the WT adds insult to injury with they way they handle things and the messages they send to families.
purps
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jamiebowers
so how come jws are allowed to mix with non family convicted child molesters that are also disfellowshipped but my hub is no longer welcome in his parents home after being disfellowshipped for years. this has all happened around the same time , maybe other jws have been upset about seeing the child molester mixing with jws and everyone local has had to suffer , any ideas on this strange situation?
What is most important to the WB&TS is SUBMISSION. Your husband didn't go crawling back to the elders after being df'd, and apparenly the child molester did. It's sick and twisted, but submission is much more important than sin in the jw world.
My jw ex-husband mentally and physically terrorized me for years and engaged in sexual practices that are so disgusting that most people have never even heard of them. But since he was doing it to himself, I didn't have scriptural grounds for divorce. It culminated in him threatening my life and him being forcibly committed to a mental ward. When I refused to be bullied by the elders into staying in the marriage, they insisted I stalk him to prove adultery on his part in order to be free to remarry. I just wanted him completely out of my life. When I answered that I didn't want to be part of an organization that insisted I stalk my husband long enough to determine whether he was going to commit adultery or murder, I was df'd.
As a result my mother has shunned me for more than 20 years, yet this sicko can drop by to visit her anytime he chooses to do so. What's the difference between him and me? He confessed and cried to the elders, therefore submitting to them, and I disobeyed their orders. It took my life being endangered, but I finally learned to think for myself.
Please keep your kids away from this insanity, and let your husband know that he's not the only one to suffer injustice at the hands of the WB&TS.
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truthseekeriam
So what happened when you approached him? Did he apologize or run and hide?
I couldn't imagine ever having to see my child's molester on the streets again it must really hurt.
I think I would be visiting every KH in the area with his mugshot.