disfellowshipped husband banned by inactive dad from house

looloo

hi everyone , i have been absent for a year in an attempt to "move on" and have moved areas , have been harrassed by mormons loads in new are a but not a jw in sight ! has there been some new rules come out recentley regarding total shunning disfellowshipped family as my husband has been out now about 14 years and has so far never been banned from the house of his parents , but the other day his inactive dad asked him if he would mind not calling at theirhome anymore as it makes things awkward for his wife and jw children . husband wanted to know why now after all these years ? and surley inactive dad is allowed a say over who comes in his home ? i have never been a jw and when i asked what this new rule meant for my child (thier grandchild) they said i would be welcome to still drop my child off at their home when in the area !!!!!! so husband (thier son ) not welcome but grandchild is, my husband was gutted and so was his disfellowshipped sibling (who had been disfellowshipped for smoking as a kid, 2 years after the child molester that eventually went on to rape my daughter as a child had been reprooved but not disfellowshipped for child abuse in the cong !!!! what a strange logic these people live by , they said he could always come back ! the nxt day his jw mum said that his dad should not have said it to him and he had thought he was doing the right thing but feels he has messed up now . we have not seen or heard from them since, have rules changed we dont get it ?

carla

Recently there seems to have been a push on to stay away or shun family & friends who are df'd, da'd, & inactive ones as well.

They will see their grandchild but not the parents???!!! yeah, when hell freezes over, that would be my answer. Your family should be a package deal and besides you know what will happen if you leave your child with these people. If you are worried about having grandparents in the childs life, there are countless elderly that would love to adopt your family and have a child to spoil. Protect your kids from this abusive, dangerous and deadly cult.

ex-nj-jw

They will see their grandchild but not the parents???!!! yeah, when hell freezes over, that would be my answer. Your family should be a package deal and besides you know what will happen if you leave your child with these people. If you are worried about having grandparents in the childs life, there are countless elderly that would love to adopt your family and have a child to spoil. Protect your kids from this abusive, dangerous and deadly cult

So true from personal experience!

nj

dobbie

yeh it's right, i was told it had 'changed' again just after i d'ad nearly 2 yrs ago. I'm d'ad but hubbys mother etc refuse to even call at the door to see the grandkids (they didn't bother with them much anyway so its no loss) simply because of me. At the time they told hubby he could take them over there but i was not to go. Fortunately he has seen what a big pile of poo the whole thing is and doesn't go over there to see them. He just gets an 'i still love you ' text each birthday from her and that is it.

Strange thing is tho her other d in l is disfellowshipped but shepicked her upand took her clothes shopping for kids so i guess she always hated me anyway lol!

Tbh it hurts but the one time i let my then 4yr old go to a witness party he came home with a head full of rubbish and i know my kids are much better off away from all that. Hubbys inactive btw and she never phones him or anything. BUt she was never a proper mum to him anyway, my family are closer to him than his, sad but at least he knows he is loved and my mum treats him like a son.

drwtsn32

Your family should be a package deal

Exactly. My JW parents still talk with me, but if they ever tried to pull this bullshit they would not see their grandson.

mindmelda

My mother constantly tried to indoctrinate my children when I'd let them visit her alone. Fortunately they were prepared by me for that and would just roll their eyes and although they were respectful, they think their grandma is kind of nuts. My dad doesn't do that, but he's more equitable by nature and kind of a JW burn out. He goes through the motions but his real religion is golf. LOL It's what he truly loves and he's good at it, and it gives him plenty of normal social contact outside of JWs. Thankfully.

But, JW relatives, grandparents, will try to indoctrinate the kids because they think they're saving them from sure death.

But, my kids are all teenagers now and my oldest is a keen debater with no qualms about taking on her grandmother.

The last time she was asked to visit a few years ago, she had my JW mother hysterical and in tears after calmly and surgically deconstructing one or two her cherished beliefs. I don't force belief on my children, my oldest is an agnostic by choice, even though I now have an individual and spiritually eclectic Christian belief going for myself.

My children and I often talk about various aspects of religion and philosophy as part of their homeschooling, but I don't tell them what to believe. They have to decide that for themselves or it's worthless anyway. But, our discussions give them a basis to protect themselves from the JW brainwashing. They figured it out for themselves, I didn't tell them what to think even about JWs. Presented without their indoctrination techniques, it's laughably easy to dismiss. Even a child, if not pressured, coerced and isolated, can do that. But, even smart adults are susceptible with the coercive tactics they can employ.

GoddessRachel

looloo, you are right on when you say what strange practices. I echo those who have said your family is a package deal. Do not allow them to manipulate and abuse your family that way!

Mindmelda, go, girl! I love your post, I love your approach, I love how your daughter and children can think for themselves, you are wonderful!

and you are right on too, when you say how silly and obvious it all looks when you take away the "smoke and mirrors" so to say: It's only an illusion, folks, that's it! Don't fall for it!

~Rachel