In my old Congregation there are many disfellowshiped young ones. The parents use the watchtower rule that they need "assistance" from their children therefore can have them over and associate with them more freely. This has clearly been abused as disfellowshiped kids taking the whole family on hloidays out to dinner, etc....but the Elders turn a blind eye. I tried this when my sister was disfellowshiped and was told by two Elders that as a Servant I should set an example and I could be Disfellowshiped for such action....so I cut off my Sister. Took years for us to get back together.....still not the same even if I apologized and am trying hard to make ammends. WORST MISTAKE I EVER MADE....blood is blood F#ck the Elders!
Witness parents using "loophole" to associate with Disfellowshiped children! threats?
You are right, F#%k the elders, put family first.
The family will be there for you and not the elders.
It never fails to amaze (and enrage) me how that cult takes love completely out of the equation. Of course, living through an abusive marrige helps me understand a little (so-called love = control).
I don't know about you guys, but I had never really felt all-encompassing unconditional love until my children were born. Now, when a kid breaks a rule in my house I NEVER withhold love or support and leave them floundering. Normally, just a couple of words from Mom (me) and we're all good.
Back to the abusive marriage analogy:
An abusive man makes up transgressions, browbeats you for it, blames it on your friends and family. He then reminds you that you never deserved love anyway, because you are worthless. Then you lose your friends and family because he isolates you from then.
Now kids. What's the freaking difference between an abusive mate and the WatchTower?
The WT makes me SICK!
There is no difference Dinah. That is why so many people stay in their self-esteem is too low or their Bull Shit tolerance it too high. It's a cult that attracts people that equate = spirtual and emotional abuse with love. That's why it's so hard to get those still in out, they are scared to be with out that crutch. It's been one of my personal hangups in relationships. I have noticed than being needed or having excessive demands but on me some how makes me feel loved. It's tough sometimes to tell the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship for me sometimes.
My parents stood by my brother when he was DF'd. Except he wasn't, but whatever. But, he was in a horrible accident, needed their help for a year and they took him and his son in.
They talk to me all the time and they know I'm inactive and have "issues" with WTS teachings. They don't really care that much. But, they don't go to meetings themselves because of distance, listen on a phone system.
As long as we dont talk about WTS nonsense, we're fine. I just tell my mom who's the "fanatical" one that I read the Bible every day and she's okay with that. LOL I do, too.
My mum and dad are elderly and I'm the only daughter nearby to care for them if there's a problem. Dad is usually uber strict when it comes to the JW rules yet they still talk to me and associate whenever they like, its not just confined to "necessary business".
Considering how much strong council they've had recently on shunning xJW family, I'm surprised dad is still talking. When I asked him about it, he said, "I just let common sense prevail". Thats all he would say.
So whilst I'm grateful that they're common sense IS prevailing, its a shame the rest of the congregation are showing a distinct lack of common sense and actively shun at every opportunity.
Of course I also know how expedient it is for the elders to let mum and dad talk to me. I'm not daft either, I know who primarily needs to care for them if there's a problem, and the elders don't want that responsibility thats for sure.
The difference might be that even an abusive husband can be a great screw.........the watchtower is a great screw up....
Most Elders turn a blind eye......there is no "investigation" to see if the parents are really following strict guidelines.
"still not the same even if I apologized and am trying hard to make ammends"
Are you still a witness, if you are then there is a way to prove yourself to your sister!!!.