A possible way to beat the GB at their own game.

by DATA-DOG 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs


    We all know confessing to the Eldubs is a bunch of crap. Seriously, once you do it, you are marked. Unless you kiss ass like a true believer for the rest of your days in the cult, forget moving up the ladder.

    Think about how it works. You believe in Jeehoobidoob, so you feel terrible about your sins, therefore you confess to the "Dukes." Then you get marked for re-adjustment. You either serve "Jeehoober" as a guilt ridden sinner, or you become a spiritually weak loser, stripped of microphone privileges. Of course you can still give money and clean the toilets.

    As stupid as all that is, what's more annoying is the Eldubs being all up in yo' bizznizz!! Fo' shizz, word?? WORD...

    So it dawned on me that there is a possible solution. I say "possible" because it depends on how crazy you want to get. If you realize that the WTBTS has no power over you and neither do the Eldubs, then you can have some fun! Sure you can tell them to suck it, but if you want to make 'em squirm and mess with their heads, consider this.

    As a dub.....YOU ARE AN ORDAINED MINISTER. Therefore, you are bound by "clergy/penitent privilege", and you CANNOT divulge any information that a fellow brother or sister may "confess" to you. You cannot breach confidentiality.

    If you want to take it a step further, look into the requirements for becoming an ordained minister in your area. It's really easy in my area to become an actual ( not WTBTS ) ordained minister. Many times it's as easy as going online and paying a fee for a permit. So even if the Eldubs try to say that you really aren't a "minister", you can say, " According to the Superior Authorites, I am."

    Just imagine the sadistic delight of telling the Eldubs, not to suck it, but to suck it because you are an ordained minister and you simply cannot divulge what Brother or Sister Doubter said to you in confidence. You also cannot divulge any of your families private affairs. To do so would be a violation of your responsibilities as an ordained minister! LOL!!!

    If they try to make an issue of it, simply show them the WTBTS's record of using the same defense in court! Then gleefully watch their brains flip over inside their heads!

    This method could be extremely fun, especially for all you inactive faders! If the Eldubs or the C.O come calling, just tell them you cannot tell them anything that your spouse, children, or extended family are thinking, feeling or doing and saying. After all, you are an ordained minister and you simply cannot violate confidentiality. If all your family followed your lead, just imagine what would happen! No one can divulge anything to the Eldubs!

    THINK ABOUT IT.....😈😇


  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    By becoming an ordained minister through some other organization, online or otherwise, you have DA'd yourself. End of story.

    No Apologies


    Perhaps. It would depend on the regulations of your state or province, or country, or what have you. In my area it seems that you can be a minister without actually being considered part of any particular denomination. Kind of like the WTBTS joining the U.N as an NGO.

    Of course my idea mentioned above is only for those who wish to mess with the Eldubs. Even so, once you are baptized, you are a minister. You are bound by the regulations of that position. So for me, I must report any child abuse, because I live in a mandatory reporting State. I must also respect your privacy if you come to me with any concerns or confessions, except child abuse or another crime. At least that's how I would handle it.

    For instance, I have already told my child that they have no need to ever confess anything to the Eldubs. While still a believer, I made a decision based on WT propaganda that greatly upset my child. Seriously, it was traumatic and probably left an indelible mark. It involved a "worldly" crush. As JW parents, my spouse and I freaked out and went into full cult-mode.

    Since that time, years ago, I have changed. My child knows that they come to me and that we will work things out, whatever they may be. ( Hey, that rhymes!! )

    Seriously, I would tell an Eldub that as an ordained minister, I cannot divulge any information confessed to me by any who are seeking spiritual help. I would love to see the look on their face. Sure, the best way to deal with them is to ignore them, but my way could be fun.


  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    At your JW baptism, you are publicly announced as being a qualified minister!!

    (2 Corinthians 3:5, 6) - "but our being adequately qualified comes from God, who has indeed adequately qualified us to be ministers...."

  • Mad Irishman
    Mad Irishman
    When I went to the elders in the past everyone was kind to me and I did not feeling like anyone looked down on me. I was shocked. I thought I was going to get blasted and people would treat me different. Nobody did. But that was just my experience.

    That sounds like a great experience.

    Sadly, they don't all turn out that way. BOE's have a personality, usually the most influential Eldubs are in charge. If they are humble, they will be nicer to you. They will still DF you if they think they must, so it's still a cult.

    My post is for anyone being hounded by the Eldubs, especially if they have reached a certain level of confidence when dealing with Eldubs. If you aren't scared of them and want to cause some dissonance, try my method. Or ignore them altogether.

    I also also would not be surprised if the WTBTS officially changes their stance on who is and who is not an ordained minister, for reasons of liability. They have already flip-flopped on the subject. They will have no issues "adjusting" the teaching if they experience blowback from Pedo cases.


  • Phizzy
    D.D, you make a good point. It may well be very useful to some in the future. I bet your average dumb Elder would not know how to counter it !
  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    This is ridiculous. You try telling the elders you aren't going to answer their questions because you have become an ordained minister and they will either DF you or simply announce you have DA'd yourself. It has nothing to do with state or province regulations. The only rules they worry about are theirs.

    No Apologies

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