We all know confessing to the Eldubs is a bunch of crap. Seriously, once you do it, you are marked. Unless you kiss ass like a true believer for the rest of your days in the cult, forget moving up the ladder.
Think about how it works. You believe in Jeehoobidoob, so you feel terrible about your sins, therefore you confess to the "Dukes." Then you get marked for re-adjustment. You either serve "Jeehoober" as a guilt ridden sinner, or you become a spiritually weak loser, stripped of microphone privileges. Of course you can still give money and clean the toilets.
As stupid as all that is, what's more annoying is the Eldubs being all up in yo' bizznizz!! Fo' shizz, word?? WORD...
So it dawned on me that there is a possible solution. I say "possible" because it depends on how crazy you want to get. If you realize that the WTBTS has no power over you and neither do the Eldubs, then you can have some fun! Sure you can tell them to suck it, but if you want to make 'em squirm and mess with their heads, consider this.
As a dub.....YOU ARE AN ORDAINED MINISTER. Therefore, you are bound by "clergy/penitent privilege", and you CANNOT divulge any information that a fellow brother or sister may "confess" to you. You cannot breach confidentiality.
If you want to take it a step further, look into the requirements for becoming an ordained minister in your area. It's really easy in my area to become an actual ( not WTBTS ) ordained minister. Many times it's as easy as going online and paying a fee for a permit. So even if the Eldubs try to say that you really aren't a "minister", you can say, " According to the Superior Authorites, I am."
Just imagine the sadistic delight of telling the Eldubs, not to suck it, but to suck it because you are an ordained minister and you simply cannot divulge what Brother or Sister Doubter said to you in confidence. You also cannot divulge any of your families private affairs. To do so would be a violation of your responsibilities as an ordained minister! LOL!!!
If they try to make an issue of it, simply show them the WTBTS's record of using the same defense in court! Then gleefully watch their brains flip over inside their heads!
This method could be extremely fun, especially for all you inactive faders! If the Eldubs or the C.O come calling, just tell them you cannot tell them anything that your spouse, children, or extended family are thinking, feeling or doing and saying. After all, you are an ordained minister and you simply cannot violate confidentiality. If all your family followed your lead, just imagine what would happen! No one can divulge anything to the Eldubs!
THINK ABOUT IT.....😈😇