Hester had opinions on pretty much everything, and one of the things I heard her pronounce upon over and over again were motor cars.
I must admit , this story isn’t as funny as some of the other things she said, but it’s an interesting story nonetheless.
Anyway, Hester had firm views on cars:
“What people should realise is, you need to get a car with a good engine! Doesn’t matter if the bodywork’s no good. You can live with that. But it’s the engine that counts – that’s what makes a good car!”
I had heard all this often enough to understand the sub-text (even if someone like Hester would have no idea what a sub-text was). To Hester, this view of cars was a theocratic thing, an item of faith. It was all to do with “not judging by outward appearance” and “not judging a book by its cover”.
Also, it all chimed in with her sense that “heart condition” was the important thing, and not outward show. This was as true of motor cars as it was of people. To Hester, it was obvious that shiny bodywork and a smart metallic finish were things that appealed only to immature, vain and shallow people, who had no true Christian wisdom, and knew nothing of the worth of a “real” car.
The sub-sub-text was that this was her way of sneering at the brothers down the hall who were lucky enough to be able to afford new, decent cars. Hester and Len K. drove a twenty-year old Rover with an abundance of rust spots and patches of filler. On their car the bottom of the doors and all the sills were covered in that black RustCure stuff (“Amazing RustCure turns rust into sound metal! Simply brush on!”).
It was very clear that Hester believed that Len drove the most Theocratic car in the Kingdom Hall car-park. She was immensely proud of their oh-so-humble car. “It’s the engine that counts! Not any fancy bodywork!”
Well, we had a new chap join our book study group on a Tuesday evening. Dave had been semi-attached to the Witnesses all his life through some family connection, but only started getting serious about The Truth in his early twenties, when he was married with a young child. His wife didn’t want to know, so he went to the hall on his own and started attending our book study Group.
Dave was one of those genuinely humble, almost child-like guys. He was absolutely without guile, and had a good deal of difficulty reading. But what he was an absolute whizz on, was cars. He worked as a mechanic, and was by all accounts a wonderful one. He could fix anything.
Sometimes I sat next to him on a Tuesday night, and I remember now the faint smell of engine-oil, and the fact that he could never get his fingernails clean. They were always black.
One night, after the study, Hester, knowing Dave’s profession, gave him the benefit of her wisdom and made her familiar speech.
Poor Dave, in his innocence imagining that she was simply talking about cars, immediately chimed in to put her right. He spoke with a very slight, but utterly charming West-Country burr:
“Oh, no, Hester, no! You got that dead wrong, y’see? What you WANT is a car with good bodywork – and it don’t matter if the engine’s knackered ” - slight wince from all the sisters at this vulgarism - “ you can always put a new engine in, right? But, if the body work’s all shot - that’ll never be any good! You got the right idea, just the wrong way round, see?”
The temperature in the room dropped by twenty degrees.
Hester was stunned just for a fraction of a second. I mean, NOBODY contradicted Hester. I held my breath.
But, to her credit, she just smiled sweetly and said “that’s VERY interesting, Dave!”
Later, Dave left to go home, wholly unaware of his faux-pas. He was just starting out, at the very beginning of his theocratic career, and he had no idea of the powerful, life-long enemy he had just made.
...OUTLAW