Telling Parents About TTATT

by ivanatahan 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • ivanatahan
    My parents are zealous Jecultah's Blindnesses, but my sister and I are not. Because of this, we are limited in our abilities/opportunities in life. Mu parents hate my sister because she went to college and started a full time job and thus isn't able to go to meetings or service. As a result, my parents are cracking down hard on me, because they don't want the same to happen to me. I really don't want to live at home, marry a Jdub, or work with my dad or any other crappy job. I want to go to a good university,to marry a wife who loves me and I her, and to get a good job. I can't do that because this is the opposite of a "happy life" as described by the Great 7. What should I do to make sure our parents love and treat us as their children, regardless of our religious beliefs. Should we try to convince them of TTATT? We don't want to have parents who disown us because we live our lives the way we feel the most comfortable.
  • vivalavida
    How old are you?
  • Oubliette

    Ivan: I want to go to a good university,to marry a wife who loves me and I her, and to get a good job.

    Those are excellent goals. You should pursue what you want and live your own life.

    Ivan: I can't do that because this is the opposite of a "happy life" as described by the Great 7.

    Sure you can. The only thing stopping you is fear. "The Great 7" as you call them, are not going to take care of you. They're too busy fleecing the flock. Have you noticed not one of them has a real job or earns a living? (Acts 18:3). They are parasites sponging off of their deluded followers. Don't be one of them.

    Ivan: What should I do to make sure our parents love and treat us as their children, regardless of our religious beliefs.

    There is nothing you can do to make anyone love you. You would think that the natural love and affection (2 Timothy 3:3) a parent should have for their own children would be stronger than any dubious religious beliefs, but this cult (as well as countless others) have proven time and again that this is sadly not true.

    Ivan: Should we try to convince them of TTATT?

    No you should not. No one will "wake up" unless and until they are ready.

    Ivan: We don't want to have parents who disown us because we live our lives the way we feel the most comfortable.

    Of course you don't. But you should still live your own life. It's the only one you will every have. Ultimately, the most important relationship we have in this life is the one we have with our self. - (Attribution redacted)

  • Giordano

    I am impressed how well you are looking ahead at this time.

    There are a lot of factors to be considered.

    If you are dependent on your parents for room and board do not try to convince them about TTATT. Keep your feelings and desire for a 'normal' life to yourself if you can. Put that under respecting your parents.

    If you are Baptized then minimize your involvement with the JW's as much as possible. Get through HS and plan on University or at least a two year degree in something that would allow you to make enough money to complete your education.

    If you are not Baptized all the better. You can try to put in as little time as possible re meetings and FS.

    It sounds like if you make your feelings known about the truth and university you will be out the door when you turn 18.

    Zealous witnesses like your parents play the short game the 'Armageddon is coming soon!' game.

    You will probably cause a break with them when you come out for education and non belief so you should be prepared a head of time. Since you have decided to seek out a real life you'll have to learn to play the long game. Graduate HS, University, develop skill sets that you can be rewarded for in the work place.

    Try to respect your parents even though...... unless they learn TTATT on there own they will not respect your decisions.

    Make good decisions, good friends good choices in all things because one day their eyes may be opened and they will see that you were right in your choices.

  • Mad Irishman
    Mad Irishman

    If you're not baptized you don't have a lot to worry about.

    Do your parents realize that not going to college is a suggestion and not a rule? Many witnesses go to college. Just like anyone there are old school JW's and those who have a brain of their own. Ultimately, too many people who are JW's don't realize that there are only a few rules they have to live by, and everything else is up to their conscience. I'm not sure what it is, perhaps peer pressure, but people who are active JW's have the ultimate decision making power and not anyone else. You have to decide whether you want to go to school or not. If you don't go then that decision is on you no matter what someone else makes you feel. I personally don't care what others think. But I see that many witnesses and ex-witnesses have this belief that they are forced into doing everything they do and that it's the "religion's" fault for whether they went to school, who they married, or how they live. Ultimately, those decisions are yours and you're going to have to live with them. You can't blame someone else when you make a decision. If you are weak minded and you let others influence your decision making that is all on you. Please feel free to bash me, but that is my opinion. It's one thing to not believe in your faith anymore. It's another to blame all your poor decisions on somebody else. You can say you were pressured to do things, but ultimately you make the decisions.

    If your parents are happy as JW's they are not going to listen to you and you're just going to alienate them by trying to counter-act what they believe in. Just my experience.

  • SonoftheTrinity
    Join the (live-in) conservation corps if you have to (if you live in the US). just kind of run away, and you will be transported to beautiful nature but harsh working conditions. At the end of a year you'll have a small educational stipend, and you can say it wasn't the military. A clean fade for a young one who isn't so sure about anything.
  • Crazyguy
    Tell your dad you would like a bible study with him, then while studying ask little questions that he can't answer as a JW. Bring up scriptures that blow up thier dogma and ask dad to explain. Plant seeds while studying, this is how others got thier families out.
  • opusdei1972
    If I were you, I would tell them what I think about the falsehood of the Watchtower Society. Ask them questions about the past false prophecies, the absurdity of the issue on blood fractions, and so on. I don't know if you still believe in the Bible (I currently not, I am an agnostic now), but, if you still believe in it, you could show them how unscriptural is the Lord's Supper in the Watchtowerland. Indeed, this was one of the first issues that I began to reject when I noticed that the foundation of the doctrines of the Watchtower were created by an evil man, namely, Joseph Rutherford. For instance, I discovered that Rutherford published in the Watchtower that the holy spirit was taken away since 1918. I was shocked when I read it, and I realized that this guy was an apostate. I was also shocked when I read how Rutherford answered the Letter of Olin Moyle. Could this man have God's backing?
  • OnTheWayOut

    School counselors eat this stuff up. Maybe not as much High School counselors, but sometimes them too. Certainly the college counselors want to try to help. Talk to your H.S. guidance counselor straight up about wanting to go to college with your obstacles- JW parents. Talk to your sister. Get your options. Try to earn scholarships, but even if you are at a point where it is time to leave High School, don't give up. You may find some ways to do this without your parents help.

    In my opinion, you will have to confront your parents sooner or later about this. Especially if you are not baptized, be ready to say what you want to say- I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE. I WANT A CAREER. If they don't support you in your decision, tell them you will have to do this without their support. Then go talk to a college counselor about how to do this. You may be able to live with your sister, or live at college if scholarships or counselors find a way to help you. You may need to go to a lesser college for a couple years and then try to transfer to your "good university."

    As far as avoiding shunning from your parents, it is important to do what you can. If you are not baptized, and even if you are, you will probably have to keep the JW bashing to a minimum. (But I did like "Jecultah's Blindnesses.") Don't work so much on getting your parents out as much as you work on having the life you want. Then as time goes on, read things like Steve Hassan's books and try to apply methods slowly to helping your parents. The main thing would be to really let them know what you DO want, not so much what you DO NOT want, stick to your guns, let them know you will do what it takes and you hope to have their support or at least their presence in your life.

  • rebel8

    Jecultah's Blindnesses

    That's going in the next edition of the Apostate Dictionary.

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