Top Ten Lame Excuses Why The Watchtower Society Predictions Never Came True
1. C. T. Russell measured the Great Pyramid with his hands, found to be inaccurate
2. Judge Rutherford was dyslexic, year 1925 should have read 5291 instead
3. C. T. Russell refused to wear glasses, says it made him look girlie
4. Poor translation of the ancient Greek Scriptures, no one at Bethel could read or write Greek
5. Freemasons moved in on GB members wanted a piece of the action
6. Bets were made in 1969 that the Society could pull in 100 million before the end of 1975
7. Nathan knor had a very small penis and needed all the power he could get his hands on
8. For a short time Satan the Devil was a GB member, everyone thought he was Raymond Franz
9. Year end bonuses were given out to GB members based on fiscal performance
10. Judge Rutherford wanted mankind to die so he could start procreating again just like Adam
Top Ten Lame Excuses Why The Watchtower Society predictions Never Came True
by Homerovah the Almighty 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Homerovah the Almighty
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AllTimeJeff
My Top 10 WT Lame Excuses
10. Judge Rutherford's "vision" that caused him to believe the prophets were coming back and thus to build Beth Sarim was really nothing more then him being hung over after an all night bender.
9. 1975 fiasco started after Fred Franz had a fleeting thought about what a naked woman might have looked like, causing confusion.
8. First vision Jehovah gave C T Russell: How to freebase Crack.
7. 1914 was not accurate year after it was determined that Russells tape measure was to small to measure Pyramid.
6. When Rutherford and 7 other associates were jailed in 1918, they determined that C T Russell was really nothing more then the Quaker Oates guy.
5. Chitty and Greenlees studied prophetic tatoos on each others back.
4. N H Knorr too busy making rules about sex to actually have any with wife. (affected ability to think)
3. Thought Jesus was kidding about not trying to figure out the date or the hour.
2. Didn't realize till it was too late that Hebrew isn't read from left to right.
1. They had no idea their followers read this shit anyway.
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Homerovah the Almighty
Good one Jeff , we could on and on with those clowns in Brooklyn
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Farkel
1. We're just imperfect men, even though we are directed by Holy Spirit(tm).
2. That prophecy never came true because YOU wanted it to!
3. "Some" of the brothers expected more to happen that what we said would happen.
4. Even though the prophecy was bogus, it was a GOOD bogus prophecy because it generated a lot of excitement among the brothers!
5. We're just imperfect men, even though we are directed by Holy Spirit(tm).
6. That prophecy never came true because YOU wanted it to!
7. "Some" of the brothers expected more to happen that what we said would happen.
8. Even though the prophecy was bogus, it was a GOOD bogus prophecy because it generated a lot of excitement among the brothers!
9. We never said that!
10. We cannot fully understand a prophecy until it is actually fulfilled.
#9 Is obviously the most disingenuous. #10 is the biggest bunch of bullshit of all. Why make ANY prophecy if you can't understand what it will be until it actually happens. Note that I repeated four of the lame reasons. That''s because those are the four lame reasons the WTS always uses when they are wrong about their predictions. Farkel -
Homerovah the Almighty
Good one Farkel , I'm glad you answered the call
Man created God for power and power they did receive
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kurtbethel
My ten, but realize I have never been in and am just a mere "study".
10) We never made a prediction in Jehovah's name.
9) Those old publications are old light. Now we have new light.
8) We tack back and forth in the wind, but we are still headed on the right course.
7) Reception on the Channel was fuzzy when that was written.
6) Apostates are lying about what we really said. They even forged fake literature.
5) The light is much brighter now so close to the end.
4) You didn't see that and you can't prove anything. It never happened.
3) The slave was just testing to see who was faithful.
2) Demons ate our homework.
1) You should be grateful for the nourishing spiritual banquet being served to you and not murmur or nitpick.
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WTWizard
"Trust in Jehovah"
"Wait on Jehovah"
Well, I have news for that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag--people can waste their whole lifetimes waiting on and trusting Him, only to find themselves wasting their whole lives. How much better a place this world would be if people would put the energy wasted on God into more productive activity, and would all try to pick up where Jesus left off (no more mind control or regulators protecting dishonest companies).