Baby talk, friend doesn't get it

4mylove

So I tell my friend that the hubby and I chatted about babies again, and explained that I just don't think it's worth it because our relationship is still fragile due to the religion difference and that we'd both want what was best for our child and that that view point is very different. (hubby has been inactive for 6-7 years now, but still a bit brainwashed.)

She proceeds to explain that as long as my inlaws dont try to run my house "too much", and that if I agreed to let them take him/her to a meeting here and there, than it shouldn't be a problem. She herself hasn't been in over 10 months and still thinks this way. The brainwashing just doesn't end. I don't think we'll be making babies. Which is fine because I don't think Im there anyway. Neither of us had ever really wanted them, but being in love, in a beautiful home that we've both worked so hard for, being together a total of 6 years kinda makes the uterus contract a bit. (Sorry, medical humor). It doesn't help that we've been known to spend 24 hrs together for days and not get sick of eachother. We love to travel, and still have places we'd love to explore.

Oh well, just needed a really good vent.

Thanks all!

4

BabaYaga

Thinking about/planning and/or having children is HUGE, whether the prospective parents are on the "same page" or not. Your case of course does add another complication.

The solution: Live without regrets. Just make sure you follow the path you will regret the least!

Love,
Baba.

jamiebowers

Apparently your friend is so brainwashed that she sees nothing wrong wih your child being with a group that does not warn its members when a pedophile is in attendance. It seems to me that she should be the one on birth control!

LouBelle

Don't have a baby just because you've been together for 6 years and have a beautiful home You're enjoying your life as it is now, a baby will change everything. It's important that you discuss these things in depth, properly so that you know what you want. As for meetings : SAY NO.

4mylove

Baba, I love the way you put that.

Loubelle, it's not because of 6 years, or the beautiful home, it's because of the feelings that I feel for this man. My family loves him so much and he in turn has never been close to anyone including his family as he is with mine. It is through them that he has learned that "worldly" people can be so caring and giving so unconditionally. He is a great person, and I know by now some are rolling their eyes. Please don't. There are plenty of people on here that are truly wonderful that once were as deep into this as he is or rather was. Hopefully my husband will be one of them someday. Sorry for going all Polyana!

Thanks to both of you for caring....

4

John Doe

Of course it's your decision, but sounds as if you want a baby. From female friends I've had this discussion with, you won't be happy without a kid if you want one. If you wait too long, you'll likely always regret it. About the JW thing, as bitter as some of us are towards it, I'll guarantee you that very few of us wish we hadn't been born because of it. I guess what I'm saying is that love and devotion for a child are more important than religious questions, and having a kid is something that is easy to overthink.

Anyway, that's an ignorant man's take on it.

John Doe

Neither of us had ever really wanted them, but being in love, in a beautiful home that we've both worked so hard for, being together a total of 6 years kinda makes the uterus contract a bit.

Sorry, but I'm not buying the first part of this statement.

4mylove

Thanks John

Both the hubby and I are the oldest of very ethnic families. As some of you may know, you take on roles that most normal family dynamics would usually take on. You are literally the translators, medical personel, lawyers, etc for families that are in a whole new world and can't speak the language, or understand the customs or morays of this wonderful nation. I sadly became bitter and resentful with my family, and just didn't want to have a family, but actually just wanted to really start enjoying my life now that it is finally mine. I know just how much a child changes that and I don't know that I'm ready for that. But as you said, I am very much female and over 30 which means the clock is ticking and I never wanted to realize I had one.

So we shall see. I guess it's also because I really want to see my father play with my kid, his grandchild, there's just something so special about that. My parents are not the kind to ask where their grandchildren are, they actually advise us to go enjoy our lives together.

His family on the other hand of course scare the living shit out of me with this situation. I know my MIL would be crazy about it. She did ask me one time if I knew why the hubby didn't want or push to have children. Sadly, she asked me because they just aren't the conversating kind. I wish I could have told her that it's because it seems he really didn't like his childhood. He never discusses happy moments. I hate that because I bet he was a really cool little kid. (at least gorgeous).

Again, thanks to all who try to help.

4

Baby talk, friend doesn't get it

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