THE BEST ADVICE YOU CAN GIVE
Jehovah's Witnesses (JW's), and other religions like them are at the forefront of advice giving. You will frequently hear them talk about the value of experience, common sense, but especially the "widsom from above". When JW's say this, they usually mean that they should parrot what the WT says.
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23 If we are to continue walking with God, we must exercise "the wisdom from above" and always act in harmony with his upright ways. (James 3:17, 18) The last verse of Hosea’s prophecy reads: "Who is wise, that he may understand these things? Discreet, that he may know them? For the ways of Jehovah are upright, and the righteous are the ones who will walk in them; but the transgressors are the ones who will stumble in them."—Hosea 14:9.
24 Instead of being guided by the wisdom and standards of this world, let us be determined to walk in God’s upright ways. (Deuteronomy 32:4) Hosea did that for 59 years or more. He faithfully delivered divine messages, knowing that those who were wise and discreet would understand such words. What about us? As long as Jehovah allows us to give a witness, we will keep on looking for those who will wisely accept his undeserved kindness. And we are delighted to do this in full cooperation with "the faithful and discreet slave."—Matthew 24:45-47.
JW's are one of many religions that to one degree or another, minimize the effectiveness of such things as cognitive therapy, medicine designed to relieve stress, anxiety, and depression and the benefits of phychiatrists and therapists. However, JW's, because it is a high control group, live in an enviorenment that actually degrades mental health. JW's have to incorporate a "theocratic schedule" that includes all meetings and field service activity. It takes away from time rightfully given to spouse and children. Even time rightfully given to employers at times is called upon to be given to the JW theology. But the worst thing they take is you, your time for yourself, your identity. It is their goal to strip you of individuality. They call this "unity". They call this "full cooperation with the "faithful and discreet slave"
JW's distorted view of unity (i.e. all must agree on all doctrines, all must do the same things to worship and please god, individual opinions are highly discouraged) causes great stress in people. One cannot investigate doubts, or even talk about them freely without being labelled weak, a trouble maker or apostate. If one does not fully complete the theocratic schedule, they are labelled weak, irreagular, inactive. There is a stigma attached to all who do not fulfill this schedule.
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18 We cannot hope, though, to accomplish the ministry properly on our own. When Jesus said this good news would be preached throughout the world, he foresaw an organization that he described as a faithful slave class to dispense the food in due season. Therefore to do things Jehovah’s way we must be in full harmony with his organization. Knowing of the tremendous work of witnessing that is to be accomplished, we should co-operate fully with the faithful slave class* so the work will move ahead rapidly. We do this by arranging our schedule not only to spend as much time in the ministry as possible, but also in other ways. When it is time for meetings to start, we will be there. We remember that Jehovah is the great timekeeper, so we imitate him, thus showing respect for the theocratic schedule of activities that has been set within the local congregation.
*faithful slave class = the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses
But what if you do keep the theocratic schedule? That doesn't make you any better off. You are encouraged to reach out, do more, more, more. Be a pioneer, an elder (with all of the meeting parts, talks, shepherding calls and judicial committees associated, plus take care of Kingdom Hall construction and the arrangement of Assemblies and Conventions, all while holding a full time job and taking care of a family) Women often do the same if they pioneer.
Ok, so you get the point? When you see a JW looking stressed out, its because they are. Ditto former JW's.
What happens though when one leaves, whether voluntarily or involuntarily? The ex JW community is full of excellent support boards. They help me immensley, and others as well. The support and ability to talk things out with people who have been there and understand is invaluable.
With this in mind, there are times when ex JW's come to these boards who are very troubled and need help. Sometimes, it is beyond the ability of an anonymous ex JW on the internet to help, EXCEPT to direct such ones to professional help.
JW's who leave frequently have to deal with such diagnosible problems as anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, and other issues. At the very least, cognitive therapy is called for, frequently, medications are needed, at least for a time. The ability to help such people is frequenly beyond the expertise of ex JW's, no matter their very best intentions.
In addition, former JW's have been conditioned while they are in to offer their opinions as help. While this is often good, any anonyomous advice given should be tempered with the knowledge that frequenly, one who leaves JW's have other issues that may be driving them. To such ones, a simplistic answer to a problem may actually drive the problem deeper. One who is afflicted with depression (for example) if it is serious, may be incapable of implementing good advice given without professional help first.
This isn't to suggest that all who leave JW's are mentally ill. Far from it. All of us know that when someone suggests they want to end their life and make suicidal statements, we tell them to get help now! But when ones says they are "depressed", "stressed out", "anxious", or frequently comments about problems with relationships, and especially drug, alcohol, and substance abuse, then professional help will likely provide real help and relief to these ones as well.
Here's to all who have left this destructive group, all who are recovering, that we can all get some peace and stability in our life, and help others to do the same!