by ashitaka 7 Replies latest jw friends
I was feeling sad tonight until I drank a bit of the Stoli....seriously, though.....I am feeling a bit down because of the whole business with my brother. My mother is sickly, and if she were to pass away, then her life would count up to only sadness. Her husband was a bastard abuser, her parents are dead, her friends all left her when she defended her children...it makes me sad.
ashi
Hi Ashi,
Hugs to you {;D}. Things sure can seem dismal sometimes, huh? And we just have to muddle thru them the best that we can.
I'm going thru a crisis-kind of situation myself. Just trying to ride it out, but feel really down at times.
Saturdays are the worst for me.
I got a bunch of books from the library today and some movies too. Just going to distract myself!
Warmly,
Pat
Hi Ashi,
I call my mother from time to time because I love her and know she enjoys hearing from me. But, it is quite difficult because it always makes me so sad.
As I've said on other threads, my Dad, the elder, is quite a bully. He rules the house. Everything is done his way. They live where he wants to live and how he wants to live. He doesn't like to travel, so they don't travel.
My mom is an intelligent loving caring person who now at 75 is at the end of her path. She has not known much happiness living with my Dad. I called her last week and told her I was feeling a bit depressed. She said, well you know where to go to feel better, the meetings. I thought to myself, yeah right, its done so much for you and dad over the 56 years you've been going. But, of course, I didn't say that. It would have just been heartless to say and upset her.
I don't have a solution for the sadness you and I feel for only being able to observe the misery of people we love. Its too late for my Mom. I can only hope that by sharing my experiences other people will not make the same mistakes.
Ashi, be careful of the drinking. I hate to sound preachy, but I've gone down the drinking path and the results ain't pretty.
When you are feeling sad, put on some music that brings back pleasant memories or sit and reread a book that you love or go kiss your wife for no reason or sit and rub her feet and remind yourself of how much you love her.
Take care buddy.
Joel
Hey ashi,some days just suck.Have another stoli put on some good tunes or a movie and kick back...OUTLAW
Joel and Pat, thank you for the words...I don't drink too much, but about every other day, and only to drunkedness once every two weeks.
I just want my mother to be happy. I mean, she defended me physically....to me she is a savior.
Joel, to stem the pain I normally do what you say...but sometimes I need a stiff drink to relax the muscles-the pressure gets too much sometimes.
I love my mother, I wish I could find her a husband who would love her and defend her for the rest of her years. She wants to leave my father, but because of her finances, can't. I want to someday help her with that. I don't want her eulogy to be all tears.
ashi
Hi again Ashi,
Please bear with me while i 'share.' I have gone to Al-Anon and also read books on codependency (has to do with my crisis in my family).
Something that sticks with me is that we can't rescue other people, much as we'd like to. People make their own choices and do what they want. We just love them and let them be. One of my favorite sayings is "it's not my business, it's not my business."
It doesn't apply as much to your situation with your mom, but there are many ways you can demonstrate your love and support for her. She's very lucky to have a thoughtful son like you!!!! That's the greatest happiness in life is to have your kids grow up and be good (not JWs, of course!).
You are a blessing to her, I'm sure! I'm a mom with 3 sons who turned out well, so I know of which i speak! One more kid I won't mention--who is my crisis . . .
Warmly,
Pat
Ashi, so sorry to read what you have been going through. You are a very caring and loving person. Hang in there...
Ashi,
It seems like sadness and missed opportunities are a common thread in this life. I hope the next one is a little better and more meaningful.
I have my own story to tell, don't we all, but the fact is that we can't live for other people.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother, but maybe you can treat her to dinner every once in a while or go for a walk or to a movie -- help her find some enjoyment amidst all the misery. Each day is precious and life, as short as it is, must be enjoyed one day at a time. It passes so quickly, and before you know it, it's over.
Thinking of you, my little brother.
tj
