Being DFed without having the title....

New light for you

So my friends have all DFed me... ignoring me, refusing to speak.. but i've never had a judicial committee, in fact, the elders were nice and encouraging to me, i'm not even bad association.

Anyway, long story, but now my (former) best friend and i started emailing, i decided to be the stronger person and say "we needed closure. i want to respect our friendship and meet for a goodbye meeting".

I'ts getting down and dirty... she wants to reject me... but get my kids to my moms house (whos in the truth) so that her daughter and my kids can meet there to play!!!!

What do you think of this ??? this INFURIATES ME! How can I be such skum you cant look me in the eyes... but yet you manipulate the situation so you can see my kids??? how can you see them and not me?/???? she said "like a divorce" ???!??!?!?!?!?!! She insists, this is all beause of MY decision she tells me "i never left you, you left Jehovah" so if you ignore me, then leave my kids the hell alone!!!!

I think.. but i dont know.. because is it bad of me not to put my kids first? this is the girl who is my kids BEST friend every DAY they used to play, until 3 months ago when I told my girlfriend accidentally that i dont believe the witnesses anymore... and then it was over. But, would it be punishing my kids by not letting them see each other? I dont know, i'ts been 3 months, they're still very hurt and miss her alot, but if they see her again now... it will take MORE time to get over the healing....

What do you think? i'm soooo mad and pissed and sad and angry and ..... i need a drink... let me know....

White Dove

New Light,

That really sucks when a friend proves herself to be a "friend."

How old are your kids?

I don't blame you for not wanting them around a two-faced judgemental...B!

New light for you

yes, the last thing i said was...

You keep telling me " i wont give up on you or our friendship, i keep praying"... yet i'm RIGHT HERE.

anyway... my kids are 8 and 4 and the 8 year old is having a real hardtime loosing all the friends she's ever known.

flipper

NEW LIGHT FOR YOU- I'm sorry sis you are going through this difficult situation with your former good friend and you are right- the rollercoaster ride it puts your children through is not good for them. Are your children in public school ? If I may suggest you as the mother ; get to know other mothers if you help out in school activities such as field trips, helping in the classroom , and in geting to know other mothers- suggest to them to get their children together to play with your children so your kids can make new friends. If you are worried about what the mother or children are like- then meet in a park or a public place to see how you and the mother, and your children and the other children get along first, before going to their house, or them coming to your house.

The point is - all of us leaving the " mind controlling cult " have to move on and make new connections in order to gradually heal from the " conditional " fake friendships that were imposed or ingrained into us. Believe me, people outside the witnesses are nice, many times much nicer than the witnesses were. Try it- give it a chance. If you move on- your children will fllow suit. Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

jamiebowers

because is it bad of me not to put my kids first? this is the girl who is my kids BEST friend every DAY they used to play, until 3 months ago when I told my girlfriend accidentally that i dont believe the witnesses anymore... and then it was over. But, would it be punishing my kids by not letting them see each other? I dont know, i'ts been 3 months, they're still very hurt and miss her alot, but if they see her again now... it will take MORE time to get over the healing....

By keeping your kids away from cult members, you are putting them first. Your kids may be hurting now, but they'll get over it after they make new friends. They will be hurt a whole lot more when the jw kids start saying nasty things about you that they overhear from their parents.

John Doe

It's your decision, but I personally wouldn't allow it. If she won't even come over to your house or associate with you, you can bet she'll be trying to turn your kids against you as well as indoctrinating them.

New light for you

Thank you all. I just wish it wasn't so hard to find new friends! you know, as a witness, no matter where i've moved, i have 100 instant friends. Boy.. now i have to work for it! and i'm afraid of somothering anyone who shows the least interest in being our friend. I know it will take time, and that sounds well and good.. but in the interum... this SUCKS!!

willyloman

What flipper said. You've taken the first and hardest step. Now go the rest of the way. Take advantage of the time you've gained by dropping meetings, service, study and use it wisely - make new friends. You'll find it liberating!

Being DFed without having the title....

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