The WORD

The Sermon on the Mile High Mount 1 Then it came to pass in the Land of Entitlement that the Word became Change and the Change became Hope and the Hope became Change You Can Believe In. 2 And The Obamessisah went about all fifty-seven states, teaching at their Caucuses and Primaries, healing malaise among the poor in spirit, and preaching the gospel of Progress. 3 Then His fame went throughout all the land; and they came to Him all people who were afflicted with Bush Derangement; and those who were hopenitized; moonbats and troofers; and He wooed them. 4 Great multitudes followed Him - from Chicago to Jersey, and beyond the Hills of Beverly.
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5 And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain and stepped into the floodlights where they had built for Him a temple, and His disciples gathered around Him. Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying:
6 "Blessed are the poor,
For theirs is the kingdom of State expropriated wealth.
7 Blessed are the jobless,
For the taxpayers shall be their keepers.
8 Blessed are those who lost their homes,
For they shall inherit a bailout.
9 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for Change™,
For they shall be filled with a great taxpayer-funded feast.
10 Blessed are all who have grievances,
For they shall be compensated through civil rights lawsuits.
11 Blessed are the peace protesters,
For theirs is the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™.
12 Blessed are those one illness away from disaster,
For they shall obtain free health care.
13 Blessed are our homosexual brothers and sisters,
For they shall be married and receive Intensive Family Preservation programs and Family Reunification privileges from the immigration authorities.

Obamessiah with Matthews and Olbermann

14 "Blessed are you when Republicans revile and persecute you falsely for My sake. 15 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for people love me, so when you follow me, the world will love you, also.

16 "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, it is then good for nothing but to be thrown under the bus.

17 "Do not think that I came to shrink the size of government. 18 For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one dot above an 'i' will by no means pass from the law or government till all of my audacious dreams are fulfilled. And then I will build more.

19 "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'We are responsible for ourselves,' but we in truth rise or fall as a collective; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper - unless he lives in a hut in Kenya.

The WORD

Gregor

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