Can someone tell me, please...

by TheSilence 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • TheSilence

    What is the latest on shunning disfellowshipped family members? Is it a conscience matter or no? Any quotes would be very helpful.

    Thank you so much in advance, this is very important to me right now.


  • golf2

    Blondie will help you out.

  • Gopher

    I saw my parents for the first time in 2 years last weekend, at my grandmother's memorial service.

    If the rules had changed, they surely would have treated me like family instead of like an acquaintance they once knew.

  • TheSilence

    Thank you so much, jwfacts. Between that link and the link that was sent to me via pm I got the information I needed. I really appreciate your prompt response.

    Gopher, I'm so sorry. It's not right and I feel horrible that it effects anyone that way. I hope your family situation improves.


  • SnakesInTheTower

    You can read the scan for yourself, but I thought this part was important enough that I would type it out by hand from my very own copy of that drivel:

    Loyal Christian family members do not look for excuses to have dealings with a disfellowshipped relative not living in the home. Rather, loyalty to Jehovah and his organization moves them to uphold the Scriptural arrangement of disfellowshipping. (italicized underline mine)

    So there you unless it is a matter of life or death, and depending on the sensitivity of the WT trained conscience of the dub, maybe not even then. Weddings...out....funerals...out.... graduations....out.... even if it is not there wedding, etc...if they are even known that they are going to be in attendance, many JWs will avoid the event. I remember counseling one person (while still an elder) that if their DF relative was going to attend, then they were obligated to let any other JW invited know that fact so they could make their own decision whether they could attend or not..I $hit you not...

    what an a$$hole I was... wouldnt it be ironic and a bite in the a$$ by the universe if I were ever DF and my mom shunned me?

    Snakes ()

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Just to round out the "present light", don't forget what the Flock Book (Elder's Manual) says about active JWs talking to DFed people who are "immediate family members".

    I don't have the exact quote for you, but here's the gist:

    'Usually an active JW is not disfellowshipped for talking with someone who is DFed and is also a member of their immediate family. As long as the conversation was not of a "spiritual nature" and there is no "justifying of the wrong course" '.

    The Flock Book is a little bit ambiguous about which "wrong course" they are talking about. Is it the original "wrong course" of the DFed person, or the "wrong course" of the active JW who broke the Organizational rules and talked to them?

    Bottom line, active JWs can talk to DFed immediate family members, as long as they remember to "be sorry" if/when the elders bust them and make sure not to admit to having a "spiritual conversation" with the shunned one. Problem is, most JWs aren't aware of this loop hole.


  • Pahpa

    Open mind

    I'm convinced that the Elders' Manual is just "wriggle room" in case of a change of policy somewhere in the future. Then the leaders of the organization can say that they really never forbid contact with df'd members...but just discouraged close association. But the fact is that it depends upon how elders and JWs interpret the rules and regulations from the Society. Most of the articles and talks released to the r/f emphasize that one should shun and avoid contact with df'd family members. And those who are obedient slaves to Watchtower rules continue this policy.

    When I sent a copy of the policy in the Elders' Manuel to my son-in-law (an elder) he wrote back and said that there would be no change in his shunning of us and that included his wife and children. As a result, we have not seen or heard from them in years. However, I've heard of other JWs who use this information from the Manual as an excuse to regularly associate with their df'd family members. And these don't seem to be censored for doing so. I really think the Society prefers to be ambivalent knowing that most of their members take a hard line in these matters.

    I've even heard a few elders say that it is a "personal choice." But I don't think most JWs think it is...

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