Unconditional Love

by hamilcarr 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  hamilcarr

  I'm struggling with the concept of 'unconditional love' or friendship.

  Does it really exist?

  If so, how would you define it?

  Thanks.
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  MadGiant

  “Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships”.

  I really believe it’s true. Sometimes you don’t have to do something or say anything , just be there.
  Ismael
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  Hortensia

  a friend of mine calls it "as-is friendship." It means not having expectations, taking people as they are, accepting their flaws.
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  LayingLow

  I've been thinking about this term recently as well. Can you think of anything that you would love as much if it were not what it is? If it becomes what it currently is not, then it is something else. Then, you can only love it in principal.
  
  Like, "I love this woman." Why do you love her? She is sweet, has a nice sense of humor and you found that at one point you really connected. Then you notice she begins lying and thinking only of herself, she leaves for years and forgets who you are and meets someone else. Do you still love her unconditionally? If she is different, you are actually loving something that can someday become something else.
  
  If that is the case, I think you can only love something or someone unconditionally if you love everything and everyone unconditionally. If you love one thing, and hate another, and then the loved thing becomes identical to the hated, you have no reason to hate the hated thing if you are to love the thing that was lovable and now is identical to the thing you hate (sorry that is very confusing).If you love everyone, despite how hateful and wicked some are, then you must be prepared to love someone despite what condition they become later. If not, you only love them on the condition that they do not become something that you hate (which is actually conditional though the standards for the conditions are loose).
  
  If you are reading, can you reply and let me know if that makes sense?
  
  
  I read in an above post that it may mean "as-is". That works for me except that it is conditional (that you don't change). You don't expect them to change, but if they do change, you can't guarantee you will love them. I think in the end the word "unconditional" is thrown around very loosely and it actually just means a standard that is much lower than is conventional among peers.
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  Eliveleth

  I like Hortensia's explanation. To me unconditional love is accepting people as they are and

  not trying to change them or wanting them to be something different. I guess we would all like

  people to be they way we would like, but is there any way to change others? I think that sometimes

  "love" gets to have a different meaning in our minds. When you look at it as "caring" then it is different

  than a love of a husband, wife, parents or children. I don't think we can love everyone with that intensity.

  I believe it means just accepting without judgment.

  It is not easy. I am still struggling with accepting people l ike Osama bin Laden, Hitler,

  Stalin and Hussein the way they are/were. I just have to accept that God will

  make it right in time.

  Velta
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  LayingLow

  Ok, so I sat and thought about this more and even discussed it. While I think there may be extreme cases that could break almost any humans love for another, they do not seem to happen to the majority of relationships (I'm not talking about a cheating spouse, many people have gotten past that, it can be done). I'm talking more about them becoming so subhuman and changing so radically that they are no longer the person you once knew. Anyways, given the likelihood of this occurring, we would probably be better of to use the term unconditional love to describe that love that we hope we have for others and that they have for us. Sometimes just by saying something is a certain way, it actually contributes towards it being that way. Like just smiling can actually make you happy. I think in a pragmatic way the term can be used and meant with the hope that it is true and the knowledge that it is highly unlikely to ever be broken.