Witness pick-up lines

by momoftwo 7 Replies latest social relationships

  • momoftwo
    momoftwo

    Since everyone else is lurking on WOL, I decided to look around and found this courtesy of Dwayne and Jamies....

    PICK-UP LINES FOR WITNESSES

    1. NICE BIBLE.
    2. DO YOU MIND IF WE PRAY? (Very Nice!)
    3. CAN I SHARE YOUR SONG BOOK? (Slick!) ;-)
    4. I WAS IMPRESSED WITH YOUR COMMENT, CAN WE TALK?
    5. DO YOU KNOW A PUBLIC PLACE WHERE WE COULD GO AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER?
    6. I NOTICED THE SEAT NEXT TO YOU IS VACANT,WOULD YOU MIND IF I SAT THERE?(Smooth!)
    7. CHRISTIANS DON'T SHAKE HANDS, CHRISTIANS GOTTA HUG.{{{{Hugz}}}}
    8. OH,YOU ARE COLD?, Ecclesiastes. 4:11 Hehehehe :-P
    9. HELLO SISTER/BROTHER, SINCE WE ARE ALREADY FAMILY WOULD YOU CONSIDER OTHER OPTIONS? (Good Line!)
    10. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TONIGHT? FEEL LIKE A BIBLE STUDY?(Very Nice!)
    11. I AM HERE FOR YOU TO INCITE TO LOVE AND FINE WORKS.
    12. THE WORD SAYS "GIVE DRINK TO THOSE WHO ARE THIRSTY, AND FEED THE HUNGRY," HOW ABOUT DINNER?
    13. YOU DON'T HAVE A SERVICE PARTNER? ME EITHER. ;-)
    14. DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER AND WATCH ONE OF THE SOCIETY'S VIDEOS TONIGHT WITH SOME FRIENDS?
    15. IS IT A SIN THAT YOU STOLE MY HEART? AWWWwwww ;-)
    16. HELLO, WILL YOU BE MY SHULAMITE? (2Good!)
    17. DID I MEET YOU AT AN ASSEMBLY OR WAS IT JUST A DREAM? (Might Fall For That One!!)LOL
    18. EXCUSE ME, I BELIEVE ONE OF YOUR RIBS BELONGS TO ME.(Ok!I'm Yourz!!)LOL
    19. HOW ABOUT GREETING ONE ANOTHER WITH A SPIRITUAL KISS? {{X}}
    20. YOU KNOW SISTER/BROTHER, I WOULDN'T MIND STUDYING WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. (He Got Me!!)
    21. DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD BE THE ANSWER TO ONE OF MY PRAYERS?(It Could Happen!) 21. YOUR 22. CONGREGATION OR MINE?
    23. SO...DO YOU BELONG TO THIS CIRCUIT?
    24. WE NEED TO BE FRUITFUL.....AND BECOME MANY :-P

    A new publication is now available. Its called "Reasoning with the Sisters." Single brothers are encouraged to read and apply.

    Reasoning With The Sisters Introductions..
    CURRENT EVENTS
    "Good evening. My name is -----. I'm a brother from (name congregation). Did you see the TV news last night?.. That report on (mention some current item of concern, but don't talk about cars or sports) what do you think about it?.. It is not unusual for sisters to
    be concerned about these issues, but I believe that we are living in a time when we should be getting to know each other better." (Ask her to go out witnessing).

    LOVE/KINDNESS
    "I have found many sisters are quite concerned about the lack of available brothers in the surrounding congregations. Do you feel that
    way too?. Why do you think this is the trend?. Did you know that I was interested in you? (Explain the reason why).

    How You Might Respond To Potential Conversation Stoppers
    WHEN SISTERS SAY: "I'M BUSY"
    "Hi. My name is ---. I wanted to discuss with you how we could get to know each other better. But I can see that you are busy (or about to go home). May we get together for lunch on Saturday after field service and discuss it further?"

    "I'M NOT INTERESTED"
    "May I ask, do you mean that you are not interested in me or is it brothers in general that don't interest you? I ask that because I have
    met many sisters who at one time were interested in brothers, but aren't anymore because they think brothers are hypocritical (or they feel brothers are chauvinistic, not spiritual enough etc). I don't approve of such attitudes myself and if you get to know me I believe we could both look to the future with confidence.

    OR

    "If you mean that you're not interested in having another boyfriend, I can understand that. But more likely you are interested in your future. Can you see any prospect for a relationship in the future?"

    OR

    "Is that because you already have a boyfriend?...Tell me, do you think you will ever see a time when it will work out? What seems to stand in the way?

    "I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOU"
    "Many sisters tell me that. Have you ever wondered why brothers like myself keep trying, even though sisters generally may not be
    interested?"

    OR

    "I can appreciate that, because I used to feel the same way about a sister. But, just to be fair, I decided to listen to her. And I found
    out that I hadn't been told the truth about her. Now we are good friends."

    OTHER TIPS:
    Keeping good records is the key to following up and developing a study of each other in the future. Never ask if she got a chance to read the letters you wrote, instead, ask if she had any questions. Always mention that she could make a voluntary donation of
    time spent with you. Be sure to make definite arrangements to get together again naming the date and time. And remember, give HER the chance to accept or refuse. we cannot pre-judge. Finally, if she refuses, it is not you that is being rejected, rather, it is your message of commitment.

    COMING SOON..
    Insight On The Sisters. already 7 volumes and continuing to grow.
    Sisters - What happens to us when they cry?
    Knowledge that leads to an everlasting Wife

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Omigod this is making me ill. I can totally remember some brothers saying this crap!

    Andi

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    That has got to be one of funniest posts I have seen in a long time! And it's SO TRUE! LOL

  • Free2Bme
    Free2Bme

    Oh the memories came flooding back...
    So desperate I prayed to meet a brother at the next circuit/district assembly and posed frantically in intervals till sweat broke out..
    And didn't it drive you barmey when some married sister would say Jehovah would bless you if you pioneered so you wondered what you must have done to offend Him when you were stuck on the shelf after slogging fulltime 'on the doors' year in year out!!
    As for chat-up lines...wish I'd heard a few more..ANY would've done LOL

    Free

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    I had a roommate once who actually used this line:

    "Wanna come up to my place and see my incredibly large.... collection
    of bound volumes?"

    For some reason, he never had much luck, although he did get a few laughs.

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    D'you go to bed with English men?

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    PS. If wol = Witnesses on line, dooes AOL = Apostates on line?

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • expatbrit
    expatbrit

    A splendid collection of concrete-virginity-ensurers! No wonder I never got laid at assemblies.

    Expatbrit

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