There has been something gnawing at me for a while, something that not until this morning did I bring to the forefront of my mind. I come here mostly to read what others are doing and offer support, distantly check up on the latest news in the WTS - I say distant because a lot of me doesn't care whatsoever. I haven't been a JW for 18 years, my family has long accepted that - we went through our fights, disagreements, but now it isn't a big deal. Heck, my JW dad and stepmom are coming to my home and throwing a barbecue on LABOR DAY. LOL I am going to my grandmother's house and spending the entire day there - everyone knows, accepts, once a while a word or sentence is said, but that's it. I digress.
The other day, someone new started posting and something triggered within me because something he was writing or retelling seemed familiar. Honestly, I think a few of my relatives post on here, but this young man reminded me of my baby brother. Same age, same area.
The JW religion is something he and I have never ever discussed. He's so much younger than me and has a different father, once he graduated from high school and moved away, we only speak occasionally. Yet, I get updates from other family members. He is not a JW and on more than one occasion, he has said it is a cult, but I know he also has suffered from depression and periods of isolation. Last night, I had a dream that my brother was there in my living room, bleeding and crying for me to save him. It broke my heart so much, that I woke up weeping. And I thought about it - here I am posting on this site, discussing aspects of this religion, ways I have overcome it to help others, and I am a fraud because I haven't even reached out to someone in my own family, that I love with all my being and talked to him honestly and openly about how damaging I know this religion can be.
Now, my brother could be on here, I think I have an aunt or cousin (but I keep it to myself - although I have a good idea) and maybe someone else, but I need to speak with him directly.
I'm writing a letter to my brother today. It's long overdue...