Hold them accountable but with human decency

by milligal 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  milligal

  Recently I wrote, and re-wrote (and re-wrote and...you get the picture) a letter to my entire family 8 living siblings, 5 of them JW and my witness parents one of whom believes himself to be anointed. Before sending it I asked my older sister who is also df'd like me, to critique it. She decided that she would like to add her name to the letter also, a little more bang for the buck coming from two of us. Anyway, she added this paragraph and it was so appropriate and well put that I wanted to share it with everyone here. Maybe someone else will find it helpful:

  " So you may say, you two have made your decision, and must live with the consequences. Yes, we have made a decision and have been removed from the congregation, and have been shunned by the family, and have had our names and reputations ripped to shreds in the witness organization, and have had our children shunned....are you seeing a trend here?....We are treated without respect or human decency at every turn. The message to us is one of punishment, we know you will never let us forget we are disfellowshipped. The difference is that we made a decision and accept the consequences no matter how unreasonable they may be.

  Those who are witnesses feel they are above any consequences for their actions (against those who do not agree with them) and that they can continue to punish in the most vindictive way and we will continue to take it and give back our love and kindness. However, as you may have guessed that is not the case. We are good decent people, who would not leave you standing stranded on the side of the street as you would us. We may hold you accountable for your actions, but we will not do so without human decency."
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  Blasty

  very true, the whole disfellowship process is cruel itself, and the fact that a family can go through with it against there fellow family member, well it's just appalling. And the fact that they actually think that this is something Jesus would do is ridiculous. By disfellowshipping people in the manner they do, it's like they can determine how Jesus sacrifice for us will be passed out. The concept alone is ridiculous, and it's not ok, no matter how they try to slice it.

  I'm sorry your family is doing that, they think this punishment will bring you back. When in reality, to any sane person, it just justifies your reason for not joining a group like that.
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  Awakened at Gilead

  Milli,

  I've sent 2 letters to my anointed stepdad in the past month... all to no avail... not a peep....

  Lance
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  frisbee

  A great book I am reading and would recommend to you and all JWs ex or still in is 'Mistakes were made'(but not by me) by Tarvis and Arunson, it points to self justification as behind the dissonance which exists in every organisation, family,marriage or friendship, send a copy to those who are shunning you, its an eye opener.
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  Awakened at Gilead

  Frisbee,

  I have the book... I will read it once I finish "The End of Faith" also an awesome book.... for all those believers out there....
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  daniel-p

  "The End of Faith" is great. At times I think it's a little harsh, or it would sound harsh to a true believer, but it's always logical.
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  Jeremy C

  I believe that Ray Franz offered the best assessment of the Watchtower's disfellowhipping policies in his book: In Search Of Christian Freedom. There is a chapter titled: The Misuse of Disfellowshipping. His Scriptural aguments against the Watchtower's judicial committee processes, as well as some of the shunning policies are excellent; and can be shared with active JWs. The secret "star chamber" committee proceedings which are enforced in the JW congregations have no Scriptural backing; were not used in the first century congregations, or even in ancient Israel's judicial system. When such methods were employed, they were considered heretical and unjust.

  What is notable about the Watchtower organization's hubris in all of this is the analogy that can be made with that of ancient Israel. Those in power at that time felt justified in their injust practices and lack of mercy because of their use of the name Jehovah. They felt that since they were God's "chosen" people with a Dvine covenant; maintained God's temple in Jerusalem, and were scrupulous in their ritualistic worship, that they were in a morally superior postion. Those who dared to disagree with such elitists of the time were vilified and condemned.

  One of the most blatant aspects of their wickedness was not so much the "false practices", but included the lack of mercy and justice shown to the people. This was a central theme in Jeremiah's message. According to Jeremiah; use of the Divine name was no protection against lack of mercy and justice. As a result, Jeremiah was considered an apostate by the power structure.

  If these points can be calmly and rationally articulated to the average JW, sometimes some good can result from the conversation. Almost every JW family has been affected by disfellowshippings at one time or another. The unscriptural nature of secretive judicial proceedings and expulsion for not adhering to exra-Biblical policies does indeed trouble many active JWs. This can be a good topic for discussion. Unfortunately, many former Witnesses do not get this opportunity. They are considered to be spiritual lepers by the "mother" organization.
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  milligal

  Thank you all for your comments; you know the things I think you try to convey is like JeremyC said -some reference to reality that they (those still on the inside) will listen to. My sister and I carefully crafted our letter to be subtle at first and try to draw them in so that they might be tempted to read the whole thing-we packed our punches at the end. But the battle is trying to find a way of communication that has a chance of being heard.

  The true success of the WTS is their ability to cut off active members from any outside influence or reasoning....arghhh.