Firstly, and most importantly, this is not an attack on creationists. I have many good friends who believe in creation and I respect their views.
I created this analogy as an expression of my viewpoint. The purpose is to illustrate the faulty reasoning of creationists (my opinion). I wanted to make it as simple as possible for people to understand the flawed reasoning. If you think I am wrong I would love to hear it.
Note: This analogy does not apply to all creationists.
An atheist and a creationist are walking along a riverbank
Creationist: “Look at this! The course of this river has obviously been designed, it’s avoiding every single tree on the riverbank!”
Atheist: “That’s not true, the river isn’t avoiding anything”.
Creationist: “But look at it! Can’t you see? It’s swerving to avoid every single plant!”
Atheist: “This river was not designed, there is overwhelming evidence that it formed by natural processes and the plants are growing on the land that is available to them”.
Creationist: “Are you trying to tell me that all those plants know where the riverbank is?
Atheist: “No, I never said that the plants know anything, seeds will germinate when the conditions are right. The soil on the riverbank is nutrient rich and has a good amount of moisture in it”.
Creationist: (smiling to himself) “So, who planted the seeds on the riverbank for them to germinate in the first place? Did they plant themselves there did they?”
Atheist: “No, the seeds are dispersed naturally by wind and animals etc”.
Creationist: “That’s impossible! What are the chances of all these plants coming to the riverbank by accident? The probability is just too low”.
Atheist: “Actually the probability is so high that it happens all the time. It is to be expected”.
Creationist: “You are very foolish, why don’t you give credit to the one who designed this river?”
Atheist: “No one designed the river! Why do you keep saying that when all the evidence is against you?”
Creationist: (pulls out a book) “Look, it says so right here! First he planted the trees, then he made the river, can you see how he was careful not to disturb the plants?”
Atheist: “This guy sounds hilarious, can I talk to him?”
Creationist: (smiling excitedly) “Of course you can! He loves it when people talk to him”.
Atheist: “Cool, what’s his number?”
Creationist: “Don’t be silly, he doesn’t have a phone!”.
Atheist: “Then let’s visit him, where does he live?”
Creationist: “Don’t be stupid! You can’t visit him, he’s not in the universe”.
Atheist: “But you said I can talk to him”.
Creationist: “You can! You can talk to him in your mind and he will hear you”.
Atheist: (laughing) “You should stay away from the lsd buddy”.
Creationist: (frowning) “You know, he said there would be people like you, I really hope that someday you will come to believe in him”.
Atheist: ”Why? What’s the big deal?”
Creationist: “It is a very important matter, your life depends on it. He’s going to kill all the people who don’t believe in him”.
Atheist: “What about my children?”
Creationist: “Bird food”.
Atheist: “This guy sounds like an evil dictator, is he related to Robert Mugabe?”.
Creationist: “The designer isn’t evil! He’s the most loving guy ever! If you believe in him he will give you 1 billion dollars!!!
Atheist: “Sounds like bribery to me”.
Creationist: “It’s not bribery, it’s his loving kindness!”
Atheist: “So is that why you can’t afford to pay your rent and fix your car?”
Creationist: “No silly, he’s going to give it to me after he kills you, then I can have my pet polar bear”.
Atheist: “You really need to cut back on the lsd man, it messes with your mind”.
The End