The Rime of the Ancient GB

by Sebastian Melmoth 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sebastian Melmoth
    Sebastian Melmoth

    Ah. well a-day. what evil looks
    Had I from old and young
    Instead of the cross, the "watchtower"
    About my neck was hung.


    Pardon me if I begin my latest post with a respectful parody of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's epic. I do feel, though, that a heavy watchtower hangs 'round the neck of the JWs of the world, and, it would seem to me, that the GB is engaged in some rather schizophrenic behavior; namely, that, while simultaneously professing concern for the common, work-a-day proles, (but only in America) they are also tightening the serpentine cords coiled 'round their jugular veins.

    To illustrate: the first, and foremost example of this is the new "dress-code" brochure. On the surface, it would seem as though these "suggestions" were purely for those planning on visiting Beth-Hell; however, that very same brochure (ridiculous minutiae and all) is being promoted as a general, blanket dress code. What amazes me most of all are not the suggestions, since they are not new; but the fact that they have now been officially "codified" so to speak. This seems to me an exercise in "straining out the gnat and gulping down the camel", "playing the fiddle while Rome burns", etc. Also, at the "Do all things for God's Glory" CA, they likewise seem to be channelling the spirit of the pharisees in constructing "traditions of men". The lengths they go to, trying to brow-beat their members into submission (to god, of course) is simply beyond the pale.

    Concerning the CA, a clear thinker will quickly see that, instead of "god's glory", in most instances, what they really mean is, "The Watchtower's Glory". If they had their way, the average "John Q. Witness" would resemble a mormon on steroids, with each happy elder coming home at night (after a "brief" elder's meeting) to a JW/Stepford wife, who would police, not only his domestic behavior, but also his thoughts shared in confidence. (reporting all suspicious activity through the proper channels, of course)

    It is my personal opinion that, what we are seeing is the regular "cleansing of the congregation" as after 1975. These events seem to occur periodically, and, after experiencing a boom in membership following the fall of the USSR in the late 80's/early 90's, many are now becoming rightly disillusioned with the WTS due to the disappointing burgeoning of the "anointed", whose diminishing was considered a principal barometer of the general proximity of "the end". There are certainly countless other reasons for the general "falling away", this particular case just so happens to be the object of some recent "new-light".

    And so, returning to my original point, this recent pattern of theological schizophrenia, I believe, is to slowly acclimate the corpus JW into thinking there is a doctrinal relaxation, when, in reality, it is the reverse.

    Rub-a-"J-dub"
    Twelve old men in a tub (a luxurious brooklyn tub)
    A butcher, a (half)Baker, and a Candle-Stick maker (for all the new light)

  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    "dress-code brochure"? First I hear of this, I wonder if there is a scan...truly, we are living in momentous times when the latest litteratrash to be produced (food at the proper time) is a dress-code brochure. This is LAUGHABLE...thanks for sharing.

    Perhaps this is tied in to the book study change as well - no chance for the rank and file to loosen up in the dressing department - if the meetings are held at the hall, most will have to do the obligatory dress up to keep up with the 'examplary' ones...blech.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    WATCHTOWER ISLE (sung to the tune of "Gilligan's Isle")

    Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
    A tale of a bunch of sh!t
    That started out with C T R
    And to this day ain't quit.

    The Pastor was a mighty preachin' man,
    Talkin' 'bout eighteen seventy four.
    144,000 would soon go home
    After just four decades more, four decades more.

    But the prophecies - they didn't come true,
    And schisms they were rife,
    If not for the doctrine of great new light
    The Tower would be lost, the Tower would be lost.

    The ship's run aground on the shore of objective reality
    With CTR
    The Ol' Judge too,
    William Heath and his wife,
    Bon-nie Boyd
    Covington and Brother Mac,
    Here on Watchtower Isle.

    So this is the tale of these castaways,
    of whom we speak in rhyme,
    They'll have to make the best of things,
    They're running out of time.

    The Governing Body and the Elders too,
    Will do their very best,
    To make the rank and file comfortable,
    While everything turns to rust.

    No phone, no lights no motor cars,
    No Jesus in the sky,
    A generation came and went,
    The people start to cry.

    So join us here each week my friends,
    You're sure to get a smile,
    From seven thousand apostates,
    Here on "Watchtower Isle."

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