Anybody who has been "disciplined" in the organization, then made a sincere effort to return, knows that the punishment continues long after the elders have said you're reinstated. Listen to these recent comments by someone still "in", and reflect on how cannabilistic sheep can be.
I got pregnant at 16, and was reproved. I was very sorry and nine months later the the results of my sin was showing very much so. It was fresh in everyone elses mind while for me almost 6 months had past since I received Jehovah's forgiveness. Even though I wasnt disfellowshipped, I will never forget what one visiting sister whose husband was going to give the public talk at our congregation told me as I was trying to find a seat. She looked me in the eyes and said 'what a shame'. Even though deep in my heart I know she wasnt reflecting a Christian personality and that I was there at the invitation of Jehovah and not her, it hurt. The congregation in general would not speak to me at all, even the elders. I started to think that maybe I was doing the congregation harm by going to the meetings and thought as soon as I am really on my own, I wont set another foot in a KH. But, everything I read in the bible and in the publications made my mind do an 'about face'. It reminded me of the importance of seeing things Jehovah's way, even though I was suffering reprecussions. I knew better, that Jehovah was disciplining me and that that should have been sufficient. Trust me, it is embarrasing and stressful enough to bear the guilt of a sin. I really wanted to die. I asked Jehovah to keep me humble and I decided in my heart that I had already cheated my son out of a complete family. If I took away his Heavenly Father too, then I really deserved to die. That somber attitude helped me to do Jehovah's will and try my best to be a good example to others. I thought that perhaps I might help others who are or have struggled spiritually to not give up. (Ps 51:13). There was also this one elderly couple in the congregation, graduated from the 1st class of Gilead. He would in his seat motion for me to come to him. He'd put his hand on my tummy with no shame and say 'There is a little elder in there'.. Those words kept me going for years - still. We often hear comments at the meetings that many of the friends would love to meet 'David' in the resurrection. Thats wonderful, but along with all the wonderful things he did, Jehovah forgave him of SEVERAL serious sins. He committed adultery, pre-meditated murder, took an illegal census that caused the deaths of thousands. I cant think of any of our dear reinstated brothers who have been guilty of that much. I have learned to never make it hard for a brother to stay in the truth, if they sin seriously but are repentant, it means they are struggling, genuinely help them. Jesus hung on that stake in agony for hours before he died, and that sacrifice was meant to cover over sins such as these. We are just on the other side of the dirt, but capable of making Jehovah happy. I for one agree that we will never fully understand how good Jehovah is to us. Now my son is 13 and an unbaptized publisher. Im very proud of him, and I know Jehovah is pleased with my decision to stay at his table. TIGHT HUGS for all who made the decision to come back. Dont leave.