Recalled these while driving back from work.
Jingo is a street dog and he is best friends with Weiner III, who is a blue blood competition winning golden retriever.
So one morning Jingo meets Weiner and they exchange pleasantries.
" Hey Jingo, How are yu my friend?"
" Oh Hye Weiner . O.K mate. So you look all groomed, handsome and shiny .Whats up ? Taking the girlfriend on a date"
" Thank you Buddy. No, no such luck.I'm off to a dog show. Big national competition today."
" Oh! o.k. Neat! Break a leg matey".
" Thanks. see you later."
The evening finds both of them meeting up on the street.
Jingo: Hello matey! How was day?
Weiner: Two golds, three silvers and twice commended. How was yours?
Jingo : Oh ! Not bad! Two fights, two F***s and quite contended!!
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Three boys were bragging about their mothers.
Sez the first: My mom's so fat she can occupy a couch for three by herself.
The second pipes up: That's nothing. When my mom walks down the street in a red dress all the cars pull over to the side. They take her for a fire truck!
The third one sniffs; When my mom sends her dresses to the laundermat, they send it back with a note. " We don't wash circus tents.!!
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A marine, on a month's furlough in Dubai ,met a woman who was willing for a price. He spent three weeks with her in a shack when she complained of missing her period. She told him it was his. They argued and the marine felt this was a bummer. He decided to leave before she involved him with the authorities for her condition. He couldn't resist a parting shot though, after paying her a small fortune.
" If its a girl name her Horina and if a boy call him Shackullah you f*****g slut!.
She replied," O.K Soldierboy!If you don't walk like a camel in a week call it a lucky strike!!
