since leaving

by alone 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • alone
    alone

    Since I left 3+ months ago, I've have been going through many changes. First, I have developed a host of physical ailments, most I believe related to stress and coming out in my body. I had always been pretty healthy, except for the depression, but now it seems everything is falling apart. Also, lately I have been SOOO ANGRY & have almost NO PATIENCE!!!! I don't know if it's because I didn't allow myself to have those feelings for 20 years, putting on that "new personality", & everything was surpressed or what. Did anyone have any similar feelings after leaving? It could also be being in therapy and dealing with "issuses", or a combination of both, I only know I've been blowing the horn in the car more & more, I tore into a co worker yesterday because I didn't like what she said to me, and today, I gave another co worker a look that said I don't like what you just said. I'm a bit out of control....

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Alone,

    My experience was somewhat the opposite. I had some of those feelings while I was still "in". Now that I am free, I feel so much better emotionally and mentally., although I felt like I was losing it for about 2 weeks. I would suggest to:

    Accept the present.

    Don't be upset about the past, since you likely have learned something positive from being a JW.

    Vent on this board.. it helps to keep your sanity.

    [email protected]

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    I'm not being sarcastic, but to you belong to a gym?.... maybe a little kickboxing..... whatever...just to let out the stress

    couldn't hurt......

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    Alone - maybe you are experiencing the lack of unity and closeness that all humans are adapted to = natures human experience?

    The WT is an empty vessel for human closeness and soul bonding making its noises whilst the world has moved on.

    Maybe your anger is at the lies that deceived your whole existence.

    The WT does not deserve its place amongst humankind - its divine claims are pure lies and deception.

    I hope you find solice in some people someplace.

    I am thinking of moving on even from here - I feel zero connection most places. Maybe that is what they have done with you?

    Best wishes because you deserve them! The most giving end up with little but their own heart and purity of inner spirit - no matter how tainted by the large groups of smiling vultures under the billboards of large corporations.

    Your sort are worth a great crowd of them. But alone is hard. Alone is tough.

    http://thelightbody.com/2006/03/05/theendofsex/

    This guy seems to have a few talk shows on this link for the individual to locate inner strength.

    The guy is Matt Guest and some of his stuff I found helpful.

    Trouble is, as we know, life has no replacement! And it sometimes feels like we're in constant search for exactly that! Many tell us the real truth is in ourselves and the NOW - but I still say maybe that is for those who already have bonds to many others. Ones who have little or mone are still alienated from species they are a part of.

    I can see why you were away 3 months and are back.

    Maybe I will see if I can make it permanent. I am chasing a horse on a carousel with no chance of catching it! I wish to get off cuz I'm dizzy.

    Where to go from there is nowhere. That is our place - not ideal but far better than any KH, far better!!

    Hope your Joshua Tree helps you find someplace somewhere you connect with.

    Crusoe.

  • wings
    wings
    Vent on this board.. it helps to keep your sanity.

    I'm with [email protected] on this take it out on us....we good for it, we are all a little nuts and you know why.

    Welcome

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