First off I just want to appologize for my bad grammer it was never one of my strong points. Second i want to say thanks to every one who responded to my first post the advise was great. I was having a convosation with my mom about certain Shaddy history and the idea behind recreation(resurection) when my sister chimed in (she's baptized by the way)with what she thought was a questionable veiw later she(my sis wanted to talk in private and to my surprise she isnt brainwashed. She thought i was Brainwashed because of the front i was putting up to please my parents and me and my sis conected in a way that we never did before.
As i mentioned before prior to my rediscovery of Info about the JW's i had already gotten the baptism ball rolling. Yesterday at the meeting the PO gave me a card with three of the elders on it and the first Bro talked to me and said when are you available to go over the ?s i said next saturday and gave him my #. After ward i told my sis and she said DONT GET BAPTIZED and the i saw the advise from my first post and needless to say i was in a quandry.
So i wanted to back out of this thing but i didnt want to disapoint my dad. I was so anxious that i bought a pack of Cigs, somthing i hadnt done in six months and was digusted with myself. I went to my 12step program for overeaters which is also a problem i contribute to the cult and talked to my frined about what i was going through. And didnt know if i should go through with it just to please my dad and she said the most important thing i heard " you gotta live for you and no one else".
So i throw out the cigs went home watched a lil tv and had a massive headache. My dad could tell i was stressed and asked what was wrong and i told him well the bro PO set up the ?s for baptism for me but the more i think about it the more i relze im doing it just to please you because while i belize a lot of what we teach i still have some doubts. He said you dont have to get baptized jehovah doesnt force so im not going to force you and i love you no matter what, you can take all the time you need. If it hadnt been for the advise here and from my sis i might have gone through with it. I can believe i was almost assimilated.
My only thing now is how do i back out of the ?s with the elders any suggestions?