the "other" big A

by chickpea 2 Replies latest social family

  • chickpea

    it is an apology....

    the one i owe my oldest son, for having dragged his childhood through a cult's skewed and twisted thinking, enabling the disconnect in his life that opened the door to abberant behaviour that continues for all time to have an impact on his life..... my heart bleeds and my soul weeps for this wounded child of mine.....

    he needs to know i now understand what happened and why

    he needs to know i cherish his presence in my life immeasurably more than the mind-control organization that would demand i separate myself from him in order to please their god

    travel plans over the next week will enable me to spend a night in the city where he lives..... he has an inkling of the changes i have been thru this last season, but i doubt he will be expecting this....

    as deeply distressing as his choices in life have been, i cannot imagine a crueler edict than one that would require a parent to abandon their child to their pain.......

    if for no other reason than this, and there are many others to be sure, the WTS proves it is not an agency of a loving god

    i am sad and nervous and anxious to see this accomplished so we can move on to what is next

  • R.Crusoe


  • chickpea

    i head off today....

    i want to thank you R/C, because it was a comment you made on another thread that was a missing puzzle piece for me in how to make sense of what has become a tragic family history... when the b0rg "stops you doing what you want to do as well as what you dont want to do till eventually you care less about where the line is drawn!"

    my son, this one who "opened my womb" and made me a mother, convicted of crimes unspeakable, is still my son..... a beloved child struggling with a lifelong guilt and a crippling self-loathing.... i know there is no excuse, never will be..... but now there is an explanation, one that hopefully can give us some breathing room

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