Shunning of Witnesses

ItsJustMe

I know that we hear a lot about disfellowshipping - but how many families were shown simliar treatment by their relatives when they became witnesses?

While we still had contact with my parents' families, there was definetely a line drawn. I remember one time when I was about eight I called my aunt's house. My cousin answered, and I could here him getting his mom. He said "Those crazy Jehovah's Witnesses are on the phone."

At my Grandma's funeral a few years ago all my cousins were lamenting the end of Sunday afternoons at Grandma's house. That was the first we had heard of this weekly gathering of all the relatives. Were we being punished because we didn't celebrate holidays? Therefore we can't be invited to any family gatherings? I definetely would have went if I had been invited.

I'll stop my ramblings with a thought on my parents - It makes me angry that they experienced this treatment from their family and were always hurt by it, yet if I left this religion, they would give do what was done to them and then some.

Anyway, was anyone else "shunned" by their families when they became witnesses?

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outnfree

(((((ItsJustMe)))))))

(Your name is how I would identify myself to my sister when she picked up the phone with a "Hello?" )

I, personally, was never shunned by my family as a Witness. Rather, immense pressure was put on me to 'compromise', 'join in', 'not be a stick in the mud', etc. Of course, I was the only one in my family crazy enough to 'volunteer for the duty' as a JW!!!

I am sorry that you and your family were excluded. I am also sorry that your parents are so rigid that they would be lost to you should you ever be DF'd.

outnfree

In dealing with fear, the way out is in -- Sheldon Kopp

Billygoat

When my Dad joined the JW ranks, my family still treated him the same as ever. We were still invited over on Thanksgiving and Christmas and Easter. We were still hugged and kissed and loved on. We were still acknowledged on the streets and treated kindly. We were NEVER shunned or given ultimatums about our religious beliefs. My UN-Christian family never deserted us. I say UN-Christian because my extended family members are not churchgoers and yet ironically enough, they exhibit stronger Christian qualities than my JW family!

Andi

ISP

I think it depends on your family situation and the personalities at play.

I didn't get any shunning etc....but I can see why some do. The WTS thing is certainly an upheaval for any family.

ISP

bluesapphire

I'm responding without reading the whole thread so please forgive me if I'm repetitive.

Your family definitely was punishing you for becoming JW's. In fact, they may be the reason you became a JW to begin with. Sounds like they are/were disfunctional and led you to seek a support network elsewhere.

My family did not shun me or anything. They were there, waiting for me to see how stupid my decision to be a dub was and when I left, welcomed me back with open arms. I was lucky that way.

I'm sorry your family treated you so miserably. Almost makes you want to be a dub, doesn't it? Except the dubs are an even more dysfuncitonal bunch and you would be trading a sour bunch of apples for a rotten bunch of melons.

Just my two cents.

celebrate

I am sorry you got treated so poorly, family is supposed to mean something and it is really sad when it lets you down.

I don't know your situation, but in mine, the JW's felt the need to preach and constantly share information about their religion to the point that I did not want to be around them. A very favorite uncle of mine did this and eventually, I just could not talk to him.

My question is how did your famly act when around other non-witness family members? How many family gatherings did your family invite other family members to? Again, none of this makes the action of the others right, but most of these things are two way streets.

celebrate life

Sirona

Hi

I experienced the same thing, and so do the members of my family who are still dubs. Hardly any of my aunts and uncles attended my wedding, and we were not invited to family gatherings.

Another thing was that one of the family won some money, and gave a gift to everyone in the family. They didnt exclude the JW members, but gave them less money than every1 else! We only discovered this a few months later.

Sirona

dungbeetle

Which brings up an interesting point; The Watchtower is really fond of bragging about how this one or that one came 'into the truth' in spite of 'persecution' from family members.

What about the other side of the story? What about the constant bombardment of JW 'truth' from the literature and the platform that unbelieving family members have to endure, whether they want them or not? When they've made it clear they don't want to hear it anymore? When they get tired of hearing they are all gonna die die die if they don't beome as 'wonderful' (??) as JW's are? (do I hear 'birdfood' anyone?) When family members (especially non-Witness grandparents I think) have to be concerned about the JW children that are 'different' from their schoolmates through no choice of their own; when non-witness relatives watch the emotional and mental and spiritual development of their JW relatives go totally down the tubes; I could just go on and on.

My non-witness family never shunned me, but I know they felt sorry for my children that I was raising in 'da troof' and they were right too. My children still got their Christmas and birthday presents, but they got them early or late is all. (from their maternal grandparents).

Thinking back on it, I don't know how my non-witness family put up with me, or all my non-witness employees I've had over the years. Really, if the 'world' were as bad a place as SOME!! people would have us believe it is, there would be no self-righteous, holier-than-thou bible-toting/quoting JW's left ALIVE!!!!

BITE ME, WATCHTOWER!!!

teejay

Dung,

I liked what you said here.

It amazes me when I think of the genuine (and lasting) love that my non-JW family continued to have for me all those years. It stuns me, really, when I think of how I used to put them down for being "worldly" and they kept loving me and caring about me the whole time.

Got me shaking my head...

Thanks, dude.
tj

zanex

dung,
your post hit me...been df'd for a few years and the speed with which my jw parents and jw sister "shunned" me spun my head so fast I didnt know which way was up or down...but then the non-jw extended family that i had never known cuz they were worldly accepted me with open arms and no questions asked from the get go...all it took was one phone call...all those years I had wasted thinkin they were "bad" i felt like a nazi...I had rejected them for so many years and with just ONE call they gave me my life back...good post

Shunning of Witnesses

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