I need some friends

by jonie 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • jonie

    I have such a difficult time living a double life, I dont hate going to meetings and seeing the friends I just know it is not real and I dont like being there. But since I can not get my husband (who is also inactive) to just leave for good we go back from time to time.

    My older Son really hates it all his friends from the Hall are either in Jail or in a Gang it was difficult to keep him in the Truth because of seeing so many of his friends doing badly. I finally allowed him to just have worldly friends and he is fine, in fact some of the JWs would ask if their children could come over and spend time with my Son and we were not even active.

    I know I can never go back to the JWs, I realize it is false but I also know that we all need to keep praying to God and I believe that God is Jehovah, some people just need to do it in a building and need to belong to a place where people treat them like they are some body.

    I really need people to talk to that can understand what it is like living like this.

    email me [email protected]



    jonie...sorry you are feeling bad. I felt that way right after getting out. I think it's pretty normal to have a hole where something, no matter how false it was, took that place. Time will help you fill the emptiness. Sign up for some classes and focus on something worhtwhile. The WTBS is a negative influence and everyone involved is pretty negative, preaching death and destruction. It takes a while to get over those feelings and move on. Get your faimily involved in other activities too. You will soon discover that the JW's have it ALL wrong or God is just a big ol' meany and is going to destroy a lot of "worldly" folks with good hearts.

    As far as praying to Jehovah...you may wanna do a litle research about that name. The WTBS even admits that Yahwah is more correct...but in reality if the true pronounciation was lost and all we have are a bunch of vowels, then it could be Yehovah....yahewo...Yehoveh...Yaheveh...Let's face it, what ever you call him it could be wrong and could be pissin' him off so isn't it better to call him by a respectful title such as God or Supreme One or like Jesus.."Father" rather than take the chance of making him mad? Put yourself in his place. Wouldn't you rather be called Ms, Miss or Mrs than some mispronounciation of your name? My 2-centz.


  • gumby

    Hi Jonie. I'm in the same boat you are with a believing mate and I too go to the meetings in order to keep my family. Take what good you can from the meetings and let the rest go out the other ear for now and always realize that there are many inside who would jump ship if it didn't have horrible repercussions on them. Most are good people who think they have nowhere else to go for truth.

    Your not the Jonie from Southern Calif. are you?


  • StAnn

    I'll be your friend. PM me.

  • real one
    real one

    Jesus tells us:

    Luke 14:26-27, You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters. You cannot come with me unless you love me more than you love your own life.you cannot be my disciple unless you carry your own cross and come with me.

    Jw do not follow Jesus and this is one of their main problems. In order to have a relationship with Jehovah God you must first have one with Jesus Christ. 1 Timothy 2:5, There is only one God and Christ Jesus is the only one who can bring us to God. They pray to God through Jesus but what good is that without having a relationship with Jesus and becomming born again? If you read the book of Romans 8, it tells us how God will accept us.

    some here call me arrogant and preachy, i hope you dont get that impression. im just here to spread the truth,which i hope you know is Jesus Christ! John 8:31, Jesus told the people who had faith in him,"If you keep on obeying what I have said, you truly are my disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

  • Quirky1


    Quit living the double life. You have to be true to yourself and your heart. It will take time to heal. I know because I am trying to heal myself. I refused to attend the meetings since February 24th and am trying to fade. My wife still attends the meetings and encourages me to do the same. I realized the WTBS was incorrect myself and refuse to follow their doctrine. Try reading "Crisis of Conscience", by Raymond Franz. This will help ease the pain.

    There is also tons of other things you can do to fill the void. Go on walks, take a drive thru the country, watch a movie or read a book. Try to get reaquainted with family.

    My daughter doesn't beleive it either and usually misses a lot of the meetings but at times will attend for her mothers sake. But. she went to the second day of the two-day assembly this weekend, which is the first one I have ever missed, and came home early. I asked her why and she said it was just a reminder of why she doesn't want to attend. But, she has freinds in there that she still cares for but have the share her same feelings but are forced to go because of the parents or guilt of displeasing them.

    My son hasn't been in awhile either and like your son has better associates outside of the religion than the two-faced back stabbers that are in there.

    Currently, I am not praying at all. It just brings back bad memories and reminders of the WTBS. I am just hangin' loose.

    My heart goes out for you and if you ever need to talk, please do.

    Bonz also has some good advice.


  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    Hola chica.

    Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. . .all that phony stuff messing with our heads. . .it's OVER!!

    We hung on, my husband and I, for a while. We would argue about the meetings, he quit really before I did, and I wanted to push us both to go. We figured out that we didn't argue when we planned to not go, and we haven't argued since, 3+ years.

    It's tough dear, but you'll both come to the same realization together and you'll be happy. Or, even if he can't give it up completely, you'll be happy. It takes time. It's fresh air and sunshine outside the borganization.

    Welcome to JWD! We are glad you're here. Read all you can, past and present posts, and post often yourself! You can do it!

  • outsidetheark

    Hi Folks,

    I am new to this forum so please be patient if I make any goofs.

    For those who are not aware of the site: Meetup.com, I would like to suggest that you check it out. It's a great way to find groups of other ex-Witnesses in your city. If you can't find a group in your area, you can start one of your own for $19.00 per month for use of the Meetup space. That's what I did, and we've been going for 10 months strong. Follow the link below to check it out.


    Good Luck!

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