I am still so angry- I don't want this to consume me

by Younglove1999 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  Younglove1999

  Here's my thread from last month:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/151980/1.ashx

  I feel like it's still eating me- I want to call my "friends" and give them a piece of my mind- I want to tell them what hypocrites they are-

  I want to call my friend who slandered my name and tell her I hope that one day when her son is older and starts asking questions that she doesn't betray him and slander his name the way she did with me-

  I want to call my friend who sent me the letter (whom I even left a message at her home to discuss this with me- obviously she never called me back) and tell her of all the moments I've been concerned about HER spirituality over the years (her enjoyment of violent movies and shows, worldly friends, etc. ) and how despite those concerns, I've never abandoned her or accused her of being with Satan and how dare she do so with me-

  My husband is so logical and open-minded about the JW's simply being hypocrites and seems to be able to have a calm viewpoint, and I'm stewing over everything.

  He's reading C.O.C. and just nodding his head going "yep, I knew that" and when I read it, even though I *KNOW* the truth about the Organization, it still makes me angry-

  How in the world do I get closure??
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  Gopher

  Sorry to hear about the slanderous lie and the letter that was sent. Those things are meant to hurt.

  People are what they are, and there is no way to teach any lessons to a hardened JW. Any attempts to prove them wrong or set them straight end up in frustration.

  The only way to gain closure is in your own mind, because those JW's that did those things to you will never participate in any closure. They may just find new ways to insult you, or just ignore you.

  Focus on what you do have -- a supporting mate who really understands. That's a treasure that not everyone has. I haven't read your post history -- so I am not sure what new interests or new friends you may be developing. But focus on those, and in time the JW's will become just a speck in your rear-view mirror. And once you get to that point, this will have ended well.

  Focus on the fact that this WILL end well, and that you have your personal freedom now that you are no longer beholden to a cultish religion.
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  Younglove1999

  Thanks Gopher-

  I have been trying to distract myself with planning my daughter's first birthday party!
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  Gopher

  Happy first birthday to your daughter from all (or most) of us at JWD !
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  MsMcDucket

  When you, actually, realize that she has done you a favor! Chicken Little the sky is not falling! Take the time to study your religion; and when she sees you enjoying yourself instead of greiving, that will be payback enough!
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  AK - Jeff

  The Grandmother on this board - Mouthy - a wonderful soul - before I knew her here on JWD, told me shortly after I left in an email, to the effect:

  Don't do anything for two years - just read and submerge yourself in learning and healing. It just takes time.

  Her words were golden and true.

  Well wishes to you.

  Jeff
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  Tired of the Hypocrisy

  Younglove, please just let this go. My dad taught me growing up that we are all responsible for our actions. Do what you are going to do and own up to it. If people wish you wrong and do hurtful things it is on them. In you situation I would simply avoid a confrontation with any of these offending parties. I know it is hard to not go yank on some bitch, but you have to know you could go to jail for hitting her, so don't. Because she is not worth sitting in jail over. If you show her your anger, you will give her some satisfaction and an incentive to do more to you because she can. I had anger issues and used to kick a guy's ass if he was mean to me or a family member. I got lots of bruises as they did, but it would only fuel round two, then round three. I was fortunate and did not go to jail, but I could have been sent up just as easily.

  Please, for your health and benefit, try to be calm, and let the crap they did slide off of you.
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  Hope4Others

  We gave our kids a lesson about how fast gossip goes around the Kh. Never underestimate the power of one person, in a closed society gossip travels like wild fire.

  So we started our own rumor by telling one person this, " We've been thinking we would like to move to ______someday. But don't tell anyone." By the end of the week at the Sunday

  meeting we had people flooding around us including a couple of elders, "So someone mentioned you guys had given notice for your jobs and were going to be moving to _______

  in a couple of months". When we left the hall our kids mouths dropped they were quite shocked.

  just read and submerge yourself in learning and healing. It just takes time

  I'm sorry this happened to you, become a submarine like mouthy said to Jeff.

  Hope4Others
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  Younglove1999

  Thanks for the advice-

  I need to re-direct this energy and also excect ups and downs-

  I really hope that at some point I can truly look back and find this behavior of theirs amusing and sad for them