Would this be considered shunning?

by dinah 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • dinah
    dinah

    Hey Folks! This is just an example of how the uber-dubs shun all of society.

    My daughter and her best friend went skating the other night. My cousin's daughter (who is still a JW) was there. A sister from the hall had taken a few of the dub kids out for some wholesome fun.

    My cousin's daughter went over to sit with my daughter and her friend. They are friends in school. Sister Uber-dub calls my cousin's daughter away from them, telling her that she needs to stay over there with the witness kids. My daughter was super pissed, her friend's feelings were very hurt.

    What a great witness.

    Anyhoo, Mom came over this morning to bring me my magazines. I told Mom about what happened. I also told Mom had I been there, I woulda slapped that sister silly. Mom left, I think she's mad and suspects my apostacy.

  • leaving-jws
    leaving-jws

    Hi Dinah,

    This is definitely shunning! Stuff like this really makes me mad. I watch my dad do this to his sister all of the time. But the sad part is that your daughter got caught in the middle of it. It must be very painful for you to know your daughter was shunned by a family member.

  • worldtraveller
    worldtraveller

    I thought a Witness could only shun people who were baptized and subsequentially disfellowshipped? Maybe in this case it's also about bad association. That does not answer why the Dubs were at my door yesterday. I would refer to myself as a bad association because I can think for myself. Next time I will inform them I am on bad sites getting misled!

  • dinah
    dinah

    It's not shunning in the textbook sense. It's just that the sister wouldn't let the witness kid eat a pizza with my kid and her friend--simply because they are not witnesses. They are friends in school. I feel so sorry for my cousin's daughter. It sucks to be isolated from everyone but the Witnesses.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    If your cousin's daughter was with Uber-Dub Sister, and she was responsible for her, then she has the right to call her back. The conditions she calls her back under may not be right, but she still has the right, since she was the adult that was obligated to watch over her.

    YOU have the right to tell your child what was going on.

    If your Mom doesn't like it, that's between you and HER, not your child and her.

    CG

  • dinah
    dinah

    My daughter understood perfectly what was going on. It made her feel like she was somehow not good enough to be a friend to someone, at least not in public. Like I said, they see each other at school everyday.

    I think this just made me mad cos it brought up memories of the control I grew up under.

    The only time I've ever told my daughter she couldn't hang out with someone was because of something specific I didn't want her involved in. By that time, my daughter had already made up her own mind to step back from that person. She's pretty smart.

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    I would consider it shunning and ignorance.

    Maddie

  • llbh
    llbh

    Hi Dinah'

    This is the sort of attitude i despise i really hate it. They are sad and petty. Yet many - me included did it in varying degrees.

    It is not love if it is conditional like this

    Your daughter now can see the mind control

    ((((David )))))

  • dogisgod
    dogisgod

    Yes Dinah, that feeling of "not being good enough" still resonates within me but I'm working on it. I wonder if the girls talked it out at school? Do you know?

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