I need your assistance...

by Abandoned 2 Replies latest social entertainment

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    I am putting together a collection of personal experiences to be published on LULU.com.

    The collection will consist of short essays describing people's favorite quotation and why.

    Note, the intended audience of this is not necessarily religious or familiar with the watchtower so keep that in mind if you want to participate.

    To demonstrate what I'm looking for, here's my submission:

    My Favorite Quote

    What does any sane and logical person do when they take a serious look at their life and realize that there are more years behind them than there are likely to be ahead? Actually, I have no idea, but let me tell you what I, an arguably insane person with arbitrary streaks of logic did.

    The first thing I did was to declare the myriad of reasons for why I could not reach my dreams as hogwash. While this was very liberating, I found myself caught in a paradox of sorts. You see, my dream has always been to be a successful writer. To be a successful writer, however, I need to avoid clichés. Clichés such as ‘hogwash’ for instance. Hmm, do I throw out my first liberating declaration just because it contains a cliché or do I plug ahead in spite of it?

    Well, being as stubborn as a bull, I declared that the occasional cliché would be allowed as long as I didn’t go overboard. To celebrate my second self-affirming declaration, I even went out and read a copy of Jim Thompson’s “The Killer Inside Me”, the premier literary example of clichés used properly.

    With my first obstacle both encountered and overcome, I started to get a bit cocky. Now cockiness is the mother of all sins. The proof is in the fact that while fate merely winks at the endless array of serious problems in the world such as hunger, murder, war, and hatred, it reacts with the agility of an acrobatic gazelle, when it senses that someone has gotten a little big for their britches. In all honesty, I had gotten more than a little big for my britches; in fact, my britches were starting to remind people of the "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" song – and I’m male.

    Fate, in its infinite wisdom, suggested I post some of my newly created masterpieces at an internet forum frequented by computer gamers. Fate maintained a straight face while I fantasized about how excited and supportive my gaming friends would be regarding my desire to be a writer.

    A low blow is defined as a blow that strikes below the belt; specifically in the groin area. It is very painful and disorienting and, when executed successfully, can bring the bravest most stalwart individual to his knees in mere seconds. Fate, an expert on low blows, celebrated a record-setting streak of continual low blow successes while I posted story after story for my friends at the gaming forum to handily rip to shreds.

    Here was where I made my third declaration. Succeeding with the purpose of fulfilling my dreams was put on the back burner and succeeding with the purpose of rubbing my fair-weather gaming friend’s noses in the dirt took precedence. Nothing can fuel the creativity and imagination of the human spirit better than good old-fashioned revenge. Hah! Good fun!

    I updated my list of approved reading material to include inspirational books on writing and becoming published. I bought and consumed every Chicken Soup publication that I could find. Chicken Soup for the Writer’s Soul? Sign me up. Chicken Soup for the Soul: Reaching Your Dreams? I’m in. Chicken Soup for the Soul for People Who Want Revenge against Their Back-Stabbing Former Friends? Yeah, give me a copy. In one month, I bought and read so many inspirational books, that the local book store assigned me a locker in their employee break room.

    While I am not exactly sure how much I have benefited from reading all of these books, I did run across what has become my favorite quote. It’s the type of quote that can shoot down even the most insensitive comment made against my writing, and leave me standing tall and looking good. I can go for years without being published and still throw this quote around like an expert. I can send out query letters by the bushel and receive an equal amount of rejection letters in return and still be able to brandish my quote with a smug, confident look on my face. What is the quote? While it is not normally considered wise to publicly advertise one’s secret weapon, being a writer gives me a license to turn up my nose at conventional wisdom. My favorite quote, my inspiration, my secret weapon, and the reason I keep plugging away at my keyboard is this: A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit by Richard Bach.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    pm me if you'd like to be involved. I can help with all aspects of developing your essay. I don't mind editing, with your approval, and you will receive full credit for what you have created. Also, if this does get picked up by a major publisher, all involved will share the wealth.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    I could use a few more please. If you are worried about writing your own, I could interview you and write it for you.

    The idea is to choose a quotation that motivates you and will likely motivate others.

    Thanks for your help.

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