Background: my mother was raised in the Taylorites, a different cult, with many similarities to the Witnesses. I asked my aunt (who has left the group) what happened when my mom was DF'd and here is what she wrote. It gave me alot of insight into the depression bouts and suicidal thoughts that my mom had while I was growing up. I know there are differences to Witnesses but does anyone see any similarities?
I enjoyed reading your letter, and think that you are handling your daughter with a great deal of love and patience. It is so important to maintain a loving relationship for it is not so easy to heal the breaches. I'm sure your Mum feels everything in a special way because it was really traumatic when she married and probably she still feels upset when speaking about it. I think you are very wise not to broach this subject with her.
She is a loving person and was a great favourite with her Mum. It really was dreadful for us all. After 1961, the Brethren we were all with, were no longer allowed to eat with anyone they did not "Break Bread" with.( ie attend church with) They were immediately excommunicated. It was the beginning of 10 years of turmoil.
Previously, if someone married an "unbeliever" or someone "not with us", it would have been tolerated but not encouraged. Your Dad is a fine, caring man but at that time he was not one of the Brethren.
Granny was so upset. On the day of the wedding she said "E. won't do this to me". lt must have been heart-breaking for your Mum to have had none of her own family present. Life became full of rules and regulations (all based on interpretation of Scripture, of course) but the main force of it was we really could have little contact with anyone we did not walk with. I think it was particularly stressful for my Mum. My Dad was a bit fanatical about certain things and liked to conform, so perhaps he found it less traumatic. But we all loved your Mum very much and it was a period of great psychological turmoil for many people. (Mom would show up at the door but they would not let her in their home).
It has made Uncle and me very wary of people being encouraged to live in a certain way to "please the Lord" especially if it cuts you off from the rest of those around you. We've had much to repent but sometimes it is too late to put things right. At that stage in our lives, the thought of leaving the brethren and our families was just too much for us. After all, our lives had revolved round Brethren since our childhood. Where would we go?