When you're trying to hide from people...

by tsunami_rid3r 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • tsunami_rid3r

    Such as you're really good friends. I had this really tight group at the beginning of my freshman year of college, and something happened the 2nd year, where I was ostracized, and wasn't spoken to because I foolishly yelled at one of the girls. I was alone then, until I found another group of friends, and I have now just left them for reasons I feel justified for. Its been a year now, and one of my friends from a bit ago, texts up wanting to go to a party today. I'm glad to hear from him. As I go around town today, I was thinking about my friend I yelled at, and I still feel bad about that. At the bookstore I thought I saw her, and I didn't want to talk to her really because of my shame. It wasn't her. As I walked out of my apartments office not too long ago getting my gate remote, she saw me. She saw me through my undercover get up of a black hoodie and sun glasses. Right then I recognized her, and went up to her and we hugged each other. We had small talk, and made our ways to our apartments. I mentioned our mutual friend to her, that we should all hang out tonight. She was alright with that if she could get away from her mom who is in town. I am not sure if she is afraid of me or even uncomfortable with me, and I am not sure if I should feel safe with her knowing that I live in the same plex as her. My mistakes make me feel like a horrible person.

  • Hortensia

    well, the kind of hiding you are doing doesn't sound healthy. Why don't you lighten up on yourself, apologize and move on. But learn from it - look at what your triggers are, how you affect other people, and what you can do about it. One of my friends once said that you can't change who you are but you can learn to limit the damage you do. Admitting when you are wrong, and trying to make amends, is healthy. Self-loathing isn't healthy.

  • worldtraveller

    Funny isn't it that no matter how long we live, and how many mistakes we make, we still make MORE msitakes!!

    I feel for you, because I have made so many mistakes like this, I sometimes feel I am walking on egg shells. As long as you learn something (ANY THING!!) from the mistakes, you are doing well. I think a small gift, like a gift card to a rest. or something would be nice-up to you how to finish mending this fence.

    When you are a lot older, you will look back at all this and say to yourself- just WTF was I thinking and laugh about it.

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