Well, the Norco Assembly for JW’s around Los Angeles is coming up soon. For the Crenshaw Congregation and most of Los Angeles it is on December 15 and the 16th of 2007. For the sake of your hounding family still in, keeping the peace, a slow “fade” still in progress, personal guilt, nothing better to do etc. … how many of us will be attending?
I will be one of those in attendance because all my family will expect it, they still think I believe it all … just last week two brothers said I was “making fine spiritual progress for a young man my age (I am 20 now), “Brother Hounder” (who happens to be my uncle) will be on my ass if I don’t. I was raised to be as JW as you can possibly be. My mom came in first and is the most nutty JW you ever want to meet – true she works and brings home a real decent salary but besides that she fully devoted to the WTS. My uncle who came in second is the P.O. of Crenshaw Congregation (He also is the one who told me that Satan Devil has his demons around college campuses inducing “immoral behavior” i.e. Don’t go to college) He brought all of my immediate family from Virginia to Los Angeles in the 1970’s and within two years CONverted them all. His wife is now a full time pioneer. She slowly brought all of her family from DC to Los Angeles and one by one CONverted them until there is only one left now (BTW the lone “worldly” sister “J” is the only cool one I remember from childhood). From early childhood I knew something was up with this cult. Growing up I saw and kind of envied witness kids who at least had some family not in … you know like a little break that you got when visiting them … well I don’t … oh well …
Several things will keep me alive (though maybe not awake)
1. Doodling on the program
2. Intermission lunch is always a treat
It feels kind of “devious” (in a good way) knowing that I am going in “undercover”. Being raised in “The Truth” from youth up, having my childhood regulated by the JW mindset, and ultimately the severe confused/guilt feelings and thoughts I felt when I first left. About a month after I got out it hit me - I had recurring visions that “no matter what evidence is against the JW org it still is right because all negative evidence originates from “the bird catcher (Satan)” who has “superhuman intelligence” to mislead you away from the only true org. But I still knew it wasn’t so I sucked it up and moved on. I no longer have any fear whatsoever anymore ... sometime slight anger for the years wasted. I view myself as having earned the right to be called an apostate. I have no guilt or fear that Armageddon will suddenly come while a brother is in the middle of giving his talk and then Jehovah will strike me down.
From my personal perspective it kind of sucks ass to see some of the wild brothers / attractive sisters who I know came in from the world slowly start to loose the “wordly” drive and attitude they once had. I have been in so long I have seen this happen enough times - the progression from their first assemly to how they act at their next - until some are just a shell of their former selves.