Family people are your inner circle of human bonding! Being a JW can result in situations where nonJW family shun you and also JW family shun you should you fade. It can also mean that fading JW family don't know whether to shun you or stand with you! They are as lost as faders are in general. This can make a family explode silently and take 'family' shrapnel some time to settle and even longer for them to come together, if at all. This can make a person feel a complete reject and a completely isolated from positive human psychological, spiritual, emotional, sexual and convivial experiences. It made me feel I needed an attractive, caring, convincing dominatrix hooker to force me to explore my own feelings in each of the above 5 areas of my life. Alone I was impotent and on an island! How about you?
ComplexFamilyShunning
by R.Crusoe 3 Replies latest social relationships
-
-
dawg
Didn't need the hooker, but when I left I was all alone...I made new friends and moved on... But it just keeps coming up in my mind and I know I'll never fully recover... How can the people you love, not even hear what you're saying when you have facts and then throw you away like yesterdays news when you have the guts to revel it to them? Even last night I was railing at the walls asking how they can be so stupid... but that said... life is life, it is what it is.. I'm going to make a new life now, a real life...
You can only love those who love you; if it's never recipocated then you'll just be on an island.
-
R.Crusoe
Quite true Dawg. The hooker analogy was explaining what every part of your life feels like - empty! Like if you're sexually void of contact with a loving woman and no way of getting one, the next best thing would be for an attractive dominant convincing and caring woman to come knock on your door and show you the ropes! I knew this would put some off this thread LOL! But every part of your life feels like you need someone to come and give you what you need because you've given everything and been turned down. Maybe not my best description but helped me get my point over more easily coz I'm feelin lazy! Any JWs dropping in would obviously know for sure I'm with the harlots LOL!
-
saywhat29
Dude, I actually thought you had a really hot dominatrix leave scars on your back or something... I was about to Pm you and everything...
I so understand this. I've been holding back information because every time I try to bring it up it hurts because they don't listen. My had a family member rat me out that I come on "apostate boards" (i accidently left JWD in his browser w/o deleting it. How smarts am I- funny thing? he's not even a JW!!one And bad mouths them sometimes. He just doesn't like/love me cause he knows I'm gay) so every time I question and it could be a legitimate question, a question I always had- my question was always how can you tell if its the right religion if you can't freely look at others w/o the wintesses, or hear anything bad from others who left- and it obviously comes from "those apostates!!!one who hate Jehovahs people and God and life and gnash their teeth!"
So I am slowly starting to realize that their isn't gonna be some midle ground with us. Like I wish I was straight because my mother could deal with that, I mean people have kids who are outside of the truth an they deal with them differently, hoping they come back even when they know they wont. But being different, she wont have anything to deal with me and I'm slowly starting to realize and it hurs like hell. I tried but reality is starting to sink in and eventualy I'll pull this bandaid off for good when they have enough money to take care of themselves and I can fianlly move in with my friend.
But God, the rejected feeling is so hard. And it makes you feel so worthless at times, to lose those you thought were the most amazing people ever? It's crazy, insane. But, again. That is life. Dealing is where it matters.
But God, dealing... i wonder if I'm gonna start drinking heavy or something when its all over.