Jesus A WOMAN?

by ballistic 4 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ballistic

  Was Jesus a woman?
  Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate on
  this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence.

  Three proofs that JESUS WAS HISPANIC:
  1. His first name was Jesus.
  2. He was bilingual.
  3. He was always being harassed by the authorities.

  But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS BLACK:
  1. He called everybody "brother."
  2. He liked Gospel
  3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

  But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS JEWISH:
  1. He went into His Father's business.
  2. He lived at home until he was 33.
  3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God.

  But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
  1. He talked with his hands.
  2. He had wine with every meal.
  3. He used olive oil.

  But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN:
  1. He never cut his hair.
  2. He walked around barefoot.
  3. He started a new religion.

  But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS IRISH:
  1. He never got married.
  2. He was always telling stories.
  3. He loved green pastures.

  But perhaps the most compelling evidence that JESUS WAS A WOMAN:
  1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
  2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST DIDN'T
  GET IT!
  3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him
  to do.

  *
• 

  Seeker

  LOL, very good. See, when I saw the heading, I thought it was what one gay male said to his partner when he found out the guy was cheating on him in a totally unexpected manner:

  "Jesus! A woman?"
• 

  outnfree

  lol@both of you!

  Ballistic,

  I took this to a book study once on treat night and it got the biggest laughs from the two elders!

  And the most knowing nods from their wives!!!

  outnfree

  Par dessus toutes choses, soyez bons. La bonte est ce qui ressemble le plus a Dieu et ce qui desarme le plus les hommes -- Lacordaire
• 

  Jools j

  a long time ago, at least 15 years, i read a book about jesus being a woman. they said her skull was stored in the vatican. cn't remember book title or author tho.
• 

  Thirdson

  Jesus a Woman?

  (Apologies to the writers of Blackadder and note original source)

  You can imagine, Mary gives birth to Jesus, she's been told by an angel no less that she's going to have a boy, she's told all her relatives, told Joseph, bought all blue stuff. Jesus the baby girl is born and Mary looks at her baby and says, "It's a boy!...It's a miracle, a boy without a winkle!"

  So there you have it, the real story of Jesus.

  Thirdson

  'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'