So last week my mother arrived early to baby sit while I was getting ready for work. We started chatting and she mentioned the WT for that week and how it was about children- well it just so happens I actually read that article here on JWD so I actualy knew what she was talking about and even marked it up with my own comments should I ever have the chance to express them. Well, the chance was here! I didn't want to be harsh or overly opinionated since i didn't want to raise any "apostate flags" , but she basically said she felt bad because there were things the article mentioned parents should do that she didn't. So I told her that she should never feel like she failed as a parent because she didn't do something the WT said. I praised her parenting skills and told her she has three wonderful, intelligent, successful kids, but because they're not JW she feels like she's failed and she should never feel that way. I told her that she raised us to be thinkers and not let people take advantage of us and because we researched things about JW's, we were all labeled as bad and that's not true. Nobody is bad- she isn't and we're not. So she was feeling a little better (I love that I turned the tables on that one! :) :) ) about her parenting skills but still wanted to "preach" about the other points she learned, which I had a response to.
Well eventually it turned into me telling her why I stopped going to meetings and how frurstrated I was that because I merely had confusions or questions that couldn't be answered, I was labeled an apostate (this actually didn't happen, but I know it would if I was honest with everyone, but I figure, hey maybe mom will feel bad for me right?) well she assured me that it wasn't true so I asked her how the WTS knows for a fact that we can't take blood- 20 years ago we couldn't take anything and now we can take fractions and what if it changes again? I wasn't going to sacrifice my life or my child's life on some imperfect opinion that may change. Well then she started getting definsive- some of the questions I asked she couldn't answer because she wasn't "highly educated", to which I told her that she should never underestimate her intelligence becuase God wants all people to understand him clearly regardless of their educational level- I assured her that she was smart and that a lot of "highly educated" people were very confused and that the 'rules' and teachings of the WTS ARE confusing and misleading. She wouldn't buy it. it got ugly, she retorted "ok, so are you talking against the JW's? because I could leave now and not come back" (oy!) Then she said "if it wasn't for the JW's, I wouldn't be here!"
So at this point, I was fired up-
Side note: she was born 8 weeks premature- she was a twin and her twin died- my mom needed a blood transfusion- since my grandmother was not a JW, it wasn't a problem. My mom had a blood transfusion when she was a newborn and it saved her life. My grandmother studied with JW's shortly after that and once she found out they banned blood transfusions, she stopped studying with her. She believed in her heart had she followed that "rule", she wouldn't have her daughter. (Smart woman)
**end of side note story**
So I'm fired up and I say to my mom "if YOUR mom was a JW you really wouldn't be here because you would have died without that blood transfusion"
her response: "yeah but I got Hepititis, so it wasn't a good thing" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I reply: so you would rather have died than get Hepititis (it was A btw-)??
Mom's response: if I didn't get the blood transfusion, JH would have taken care of me and made sure I survived because his law was being followed
my response: "so what about those JW kids who DID die? Did JH not care about them? He picks and chooses who lives and who dies even though both are following his law?"
Then my mom got flustered and couldn't respond. I could tell she was really freaking out and I had said enough.
So I just said to her that I appreciate that she let me express myself since the WT from that weekend encouraged parents to let their kids do that, so she was doing a good thing. I also said that I just get upset when I see her doubting her self as a parent and her intelligence because she's a wonderful mother and I don't want her reading a WT and second guessing herself- and that I think she's very smart- etc. etc. She felt much better and although I had to fan the flames out at the end with all the "fancy love talk", she at least is beginning to understand where I'm coming from.
I just can't get over that comment she made about blood transfusions. It was just so bizarre and illogical!