For J-Guy

lola28

I know that my posts to you may seem way out of line but I'm not telling you any of these things to be "mean" not in the least. I know I can't fully understand what it's like to be raised as a witness, I was fortunate enough to have grown up in a normal household, I got to have birthdays and Christmas and all that good stuff. I was only 14 when I began to study and because of that I got the benefit of having had an ok childhood (not great but ok) something that I know you feel you were denied.

I however do understand what it feels like to suddenly realize that everything you have believed in is a lie; I know what it feels like to lose friends and people that you considered family. It's hard to accept the fact that when I'm older I wont be able to share that part of my life with anyone, I wont be able to reminisce about the good old days because I lost privilege when I left the religion behind. My brain (or at least my one brain cell Bernie) understands these things but my heart doesn’t. I can't image the pain you and others who have lost family members to this "religion" feel nor do I want to.

I've read your threads and in many of them I feel that you take this I'm a victim approach to life, I will grant you that living life as witness and then living is never easy but you left, you are out and free why, why, why do you allow this stupid religion to take more of your life away?

At what point do you just say enough is enough and allow yourself to move on? There are many things which we can blame on the witnesses but after a while all of us need to start taking responsibility over our lives. It is so easy to blame outside sources for the crappy things that happen to us, I personally have to fight the urge to do this quite often, it is so much harder to say "hey I got a raw deal but what's done is done" and keep on going. I know it's hard, but stop using the witnesses as a clutch and as an excuse. Don't you see you are better than that? Can't you see that you deserve better?

That's why I'm so hard on you, because it angers me to see that you are still wasting precious time on this stupid cult and on what they did to you how many years ago? You still have time to change your life, to find some meaning to everything that has happened to you, please don't waste it being bitter and thinking about what could have been. You had no control over being raised a witness, but you do have control over what happens to you from now on. You have potential kid, don't give them anymore of yourself, and don’t hurt yourself by reliving things that you can not change.

Eli

Junction-Guy

Ok Lola, thanks for this reply. Why couldnt you have said something like this to begin with? Your original answer to me was kinda callous. I have heard similar things like this before. 13 years ago I probably would have said the same thing, but that was before I went through major upheaval.

Who knows? maybe 10 years down the line when life is great and everything is just peachy to me, I will be the one saying "the best revenge" and so on and so forth.

noni1974

I hope so JG I really hope so.

AK - Jeff

There are some aspects that are not covered in your post Lola. The idea is good of course, but the implementation is not as easy.

One factor, at least in my case, is age. If one leaves at 18 or 25 or 30 it is one thing. When some leave at 50 or 70 it is quite another. More history, friends are harder to make, it is harder to shed ingrained thinking.

Whilst I am trying very hard not to be a victim any longer, I will always be a survivor, and sometimes survivor's scars are hard to heal. I call it 'flashbacks'. Ones entire mind has been trained for 50 or 60 years to think in a certain manner. Boy is it hard to shed that at times.

But good post and good points. Sometimes the bootstraps just won't levitate us though. Hence JWD.

Jeff

lisavegas420

I just wanted to say how much I appreciated this thread. Lola saw that she had said something that offended JG. She explained herself, even though she didn't have to. And JG...thanked her....thank you both.

I personally feel..that Lola was responding to how she saw JG...not was trying to be mean or offensive to him. And...I agree with her in much of what she has said.

JG... (In my not so humble opinion) is one of those people that has LOTS going for him, but doesn't seem to notice or use what he has. And I feel he dwells in the negative and past way too much.

Not trying to be a bitch...just saying.. Don't get mad..k. (((dave))))

lisa

oompa

Some deep cuts leave an ugly scar. You can try all kinds of ointments on it. The limb still works ok, but the ugly scar never goes away till you die.........born in......woke up waaaaay later than I wished.....oompa