Hello everyone, I've been reading a lot of posts here over the last week or so and decided it was time to introduce myself. I'm from Pittsburgh, PA and was not brought up in the "Truth", so to speak. I only became interested when I met a girl at work (who was a witness) and we started a friendship that eventually grew into a strong relationship. She did have a meeting with the elders at their request when we began seriously dating, but was just given a private reproof and was not told outright that we should discontinue our relationship. I did not understand what the witnesses believed and started a "bible study" just to get some questions answered. I still don't know why they call it a bible study when we read more of the WT literature than we did the bible. Anyway, I was fed a lot of things that seemed to make sense and being the new kid on the block, we were being invited to witnesses's houses for dinners and parties and everyone just seemed so happy to have us around. Now I know that it was all just a show because not one of these people has talked to me for over 2 years now. Things really picked up after the study started. I was given numerous books to read and after about 5 months, strated studying the baptism book. I really thought that I had finally had my questions answered about life and what it was all about. Well, I was baptised and then familiarity began to set in. I became just another face in the crowd and when I got tired of hearing all the same old things at the meetings, I began to bring some new questions to the elders. This, needless to say, pissed them off. They told me not to run ahead of the organization and that if something was wrong, it would be corrected in time. Not good enough for me. I did some more research and began to uncover a lot of things about the organization and things that took place over the years. I showed all of this info to my wife (By the way, I did marry the girl and we now have 2 wonderful kids) and she also began to question some of the things that took place. I wrote a letter to the governing body with all of my questions. By this time, me and my wife were not attending meetings or going out in service. Not that we ever did spend much time in service. Our field service usually consisted of whoever was driving, stopping to hand out a pamphlet to anyone who was unlucky to be standing on the corner at the time, just to get the time clock going. We would then walk around for about half an hour and then go to a coffee shop for the rest of the morning. All the while being on the field service clock. Anyway, the letter I sent was never answered by the governing body, but was handed over to the local cong and the elders asked if I would like to have a meeting with them. I told them I would have to get back to them on this. It's been over 2 years now and haven't heard anuthing from them. Me and my wife just sort of drifted off. Now my wife is concerned because one of the elders wive's happened to stop by the other and she seen some birthday cards for myself sitting on the mantle. My wife is not too concerned about what the organization does to her, but she is concerned that her mother would not talk to her if she was df'd. I tried to reassure her that she would not give up a relationship with her or her grandchildren, but my wife seems to think otherwise. Am I worrying too much about this? I personally don't think her mother would act this way, but hearing my wife talk, I'm not so sure. I'm glad I found this website and would appreciate any advice from anyone. Thanks,
drifted off and concerned
by HyTech 4 Replies latest jw experiences
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LDH
Welcome, Hytech. Just let me say, no one can answer your question except time. JWs are conditioned to reject immediately and with extreme prejudice any threat to the flock.
Therefore, should your wife get df'd, no one can predict how her mom will act.
I would just say to you, welcome, and read read read.
Lisa
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Nathan Natas
Hello HyTech,
The answer to your question about how your Mother-In-Law will react can only be answered by her behavior when the time comes, but her behavior will be triggered by how "deeply dipped" she is in the organization. If she follows doctrine, she will adopt whatever shunning practice is currently reccommended - the approved practice varies every few years - if she really loves her daughter and grandchildren, she will bend the rules to gain some "wiggle room".
I wish you well.
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erik
Why do some people on this posting site have to fit Satan into their names. Not very reassuring...
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ISP
Hytech, my wife and I have been out over a yr now. The kids do birthdays and stuff. The elders have kept their distance. I think there are ways of avoiding obvious conflict..but generally its a matter of time..........
ISP