Why am I so angry?

by Cassiline 5 Replies latest social entertainment

  • Cassiline

    Hello to All,
    As some of you may know I drifted from the JW's in 1990. I just started to research the JW doctrines in depth. Why did it take so long? Because I was afraid. Yes, it know sounds silly coming from a 36 year old woman AFRAID! I was raised a JW and believed to research their belief system would surly be the last straw with God.

    Being here and reading your posts have given me strength, insights and a sense of peace I have not known for years. I have read a lot on the subject and have seen the lies propagated by the WTBTS but this UN thing has me so ANGRY, WHY? I keep going back to it seething and wondering, why/how for so long I was playing Simon says....... and followed did as I was told and was a good little sister... But I cant get past this UN thing. Any thoughts why I am so angry? Please some input would be appreciated.


    When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

  • Cowboy


    I think I understand some of what you are feeling.After all of this time,it's so hard for me to look back and realize that I wasted so much time and energy on something that was so wrong.I feel like I was played a fool-and that's always painful to realize.

    I think the anger is a part of the recovery process.Maybe we need to feel it,in order to be able to put our past's behind us.

    'Nuff Said

    We ride and never worry about the fall
    I guess that's just the cowboy in us all

  • TR

    Hi, Cassi,

    Remember, most of us here have been there. It took me 3 years of fretting for my life before I gathered the nads to get on the net, and I was 36! Don't feel ashamed.

    I get pissed every time I hear about a new WTS boondoggle. But, I'm so used to it that it's par for the course nowadays.


    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • Cassiline

    Thanks for helping me "see", I just can't stand the feeling of being used and allowing myself to continue being blind for so long. Perhaps I just answered a bit of my own question.
    Thanks again.....


    When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

  • Frenchy

    Dear Cass,
    As noted by Cowboy and TR, what you are feeling is quite natural and common. It' natural to feel anger when one is deceived and betrayed. Used properly, anger in this instance can be used as fuel for the resolve to be ever so more careful next time coupled with the experience and wisdom gained from having been so thoroughly deceived to help others whenever possible to avoid the pitfall entirely or at the very least give them a hand up.

    Be very careful that your anger does not turn toward God. Remember that the WTBS equates itself with God in very subtle but pervasive ways and many who have left have, unfortunately, left God also. Some are bitter toward God in the same way they are toward the Society that so misrepresented Him and itself.

    BTW, I was 50+ and the presiding overseer of a congregation before I took a peek behind the curtain and saw what the wizard was up to.

    -Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

  • more2C

    Hello Cassiline,

    I agree with the others, that what you are feeling is quite normal. I drifted away in the 90's, also. There are many feelings that seem to crop up as part of the grieving process. Don't ever feel that you are alone. There are many people that have felt this way. The more educated you are about coping through this will definately help. There are many more books that deal with this. I can recommend Ray Franz's book Crisis of Conscience and I just started reading his second book. (It's a thick one!) Anyway, there are many stages of grieving because of what we have been through, and there are many more people on this board who can help you through this. Anger can definitely motivate you to turn something negative into something positive.


Share this