Should I?

by Atpeaceatlast 9 Replies latest social relationships

  • Atpeaceatlast
    Atpeaceatlast

    I've been thinking about contacting the JW boy I was involved with 22 years ago. I don't know why exactly, except that I need some explanations from him, meaning, why did he behave the way he did after our separate JCs. I guess I need closure. I know this much: He lives in Cedar Lake, IN, married, still a JW in the Crown Point, IN congregation. I'm not looking for a love reconnection since I have a wonderful husband in my life. I have asked my husband about it and he said that if I needed the closure, then go ahead. What do you think? Can anyone help? Thank you.

  • juni
    juni

    Welcome Atpeaceatlast. I like your alias. Very nice.

    I don't know. You could be opening a whole can of worms so to speak because I'm sure you're not going to get the closure you're looking for. He's a JW and you are out. Right there in his mind he's "better" than you cause he's "in" with God and you're not. After 22 years, he, I'm sure, thinks of himself as right up there.

    A former elder was getting "too friendly" let me leave it at that w/me and 9 other sisters. This happened back in the 1980's. I remember it like yesterday. I left the org. in ' 91. After a lot of years went by I really felt the need to write him a letter and wanted a reply back. I wrote 2 letters that went unanswered.

    Since then I've heard that he sits at the back of the Hall looking pretty lonely.

    I believe in karma. That's just me though. I wish you the best.

    Juni

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    The problem is, other people are not obliged to help us get closure. He may or may not have dealt with the event. If he's still in denial, he might refuse to talk to you at all. Would that help or harm you?

    I agree with juni, believe in karma.

  • Atpeaceatlast
    Atpeaceatlast

    I, too, believe in karma, and what goes around, comes around. I know God was looking out for me the day I left everything behind. If I do contact him, I'll post and let you know what happened.

    Thanks for the advice.

  • theinfamousone
    theinfamousone

    i dont see contacting him to be of any benefit to you... your husband... that man.... his wife... his kids....

    all it will do is bring back a rush of emotions you have at least put behind you... closure is a strange concept... and how can you still need it after 22 years???

    i say dont contact him

    the infamous one

  • DJK
    DJK

    I agree with the infamous one.

    From experience I can tell you, you'll have more unanswered questions.

  • Mum
    Mum

    I say, Let it go. There is nothing to gain by resurrecting old problems. Don't you have enough problems in the here and now? If not, I'll share.

    Regards,

    SandraC

  • sspo
    sspo

    Leave it alone, why open up a can of worms.

    Try to stop thinking about it and stress yourself out for something that was done 22 years ago.

    Even if you get the answer from him, you might still wonder why did he do that.

  • ninja
    ninja

    don't bother.........unless he owes you money....ninja

  • Atpeaceatlast
    Atpeaceatlast

    LOL, I'm glad to see everyone has a great sense of humor. No, he doesn't owe me money, just the millions' worth of tears I shed while he looked the other way but that was another lifetime ago, and I'm not stressing over it, but since I'm not the girl I used to be as a JW wannabe (ick, I can't believe I was trying to be one), I guess I would like to have the chance to confront him and ask him a ton of questions as the assertive, gothgal that I am now (hee, hee). No, I wouldn't be quiet that's for sure, but seriously, all of you have made some very good points and I will take them into consideration, although I have a good life now, so why worry about it, right?

    Thank you!

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