Hi!
while posting yesterday i remembered the recording of my baptism talk i own.
i want to share the story with you:
i was baptized on a circuit assembly in 1996. my sister gave me the recording on a tape the very next day as a gift (cute, uh?). for the next 11 years i wasnt able to listen to it, because i had almost only bad feelings about this particular day. i was raised as a JW, i had dedicated me, i had studied, i had tried hard to switch off my sins. but since i did the wrong thing only 2 days before my baptism AGAIN i felt incredibly sick on that day. i didnt felp appropriate. i felt like lieing to god himself and spit in his face. and lieing to my whole family and friends too. the sin i commited was a sin most ppl knew well when they became a teenager and feel their hormones racing. i dont wanna go into detail :)
as a result of this i prayed my whole time as a teenager almost every other night with tears in my eyes for forgiveness. i was an auxiliarity pioneer too - because that made me feel better. some years later there was an article in the awake who shed a new light (in contrary to the young people ask book) on that topic and literally said that it is okay to get baptized when such a sin plagues one but he fights against it. the first time after many years i felt worthy again. "proper food for the right time" i thought and i prayed happily and thanked god for his help.
but the tape... it scared still the sh*t out of me. it took me another 7 years.
today im in big doubt about the JWs and fading. and i remembered that tape.
so i listened to it :) its a weired feeling to hear that talk. i can remember it still very well. i remember the feelings i had. its like yesterday. but i dont feel bad about it anymore. and i decided to make a copy on compact disc, because the tape get worse everyday. its a part of my life and i want to preserve it.
sharing that with you i come up with the question:
do you have similar feelings about your baptism or were you in a similar situation?
thank you for reading!
marcel
listened to my baptism speech recording the first time after 11 years
by Marcel 4 Replies latest jw experiences
-
Marcel
-
unique1
I felt guilty for many years for the same reason. When I got older and found out it was normal for people to do that and in fact nearly everyone had, I was really weirded out. It was like a huge weight had been lifted. I feel your pain.
-
sf
Incidently, have members ever been allowed to videotape their baptisms and/ or that of their childrens baptism?
sKally
-
unique1
Yeah we was too poor for a video camera in 1990 so I just have pics but I see people with cam corders all the time now.
-
penny2
It's sad that people are made to feel guilty for something that is normal.
Marcel, I hope your fade is going well.
penny2