Moving on

by What-A-Coincidence 7 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  What-A-Coincidence

  I found this here: http://exjw.meetup.com/324/messages/boards/view/viewthread?thread=2568744

  What phase are you in? It took me 1 and 1/2 years to get to Phase V.

  The damage perpetrated by Jehovah?s Witnesses upon its members is incredible. I have lived through it firsthand and have helped many others to move on. In my experience and those I have worked with, (plus factoring the thousands of ex JWs I have known online since the internet since 1995) there are different phases a person goes through.
  
  The process I will outline is a general one therefore it will have many exceptions because there is no one size fits all model. As you read this I encourage you to do a self-analysis and check for yourself where you are in the evolutionary process.
  
  Phase I
  Denial and I don?t mean the river in Egypt. Denying reality for what it is, is a natural defense we all use throughout of lives and some just park themselves and live and breathe denial. This coping mechanism protects us from completely feeling the hurt and anger from the injustices and atrocities we experienced on the way out. If we pretend like this is not happening or it was not as bad as it was then we delete our experience and or minimize the hurt.
  
  Phase II
  Anger when faced with reality. The cold facts are Jehovah?s Witnesses are a high control group that demand absolute loyalty to the authority structure. Their agenda is to push their products and recruit others to do the same. Imagine having over six million unpaid door-to-door sales people that advance the economic interests of the organization to the tune of billions of dollars a year. This slavery of whole families is rewarded with nothing after many years of service. Baby boomers are now faced with massive economic problems as a result of not having pensions as they face retirement or another career they can carry on with. The majority is underemployed since they were denied a university education giving the Watchtower publishing company their best years. Needing health insurance that is cost prohibitive if one had to pay for it they are faced with having to work till they can no longer hold down a job. What do these middle aged or older ex JWs have to show for the paradise dream they bought into? Nothing. It was all a grandiose concept started by Russell and just passed on from convert to convert.
  
  Phase III
  Thinking about acceptance. The adage that time heals many things is true. Some move on to this phase after years of therapy or working on themselves through any and all avenues that work. For some it?s as simple as returning to college and graduating into a high paying job that raises their past substandard living while being re-assimilated into society. Some stay stuck and never move on dying very embittered and damaged for life.
  
  Phase IV
  Acceptance of their JW past. In this stage the person has attained a level of maturity and wisdom to neither deny nor belabor their JW past. Many opt to keep their JW past experience private. They are no longer driven to expose all the ills of this pseudo religion. If they do bring up their past it is with a spirit of helping others or as merely disseminating information as a former insider of the real ?truth?.
  
  Phase VForgiveness. The individual has evolved beyond blaming themselves or anyone else about their past. They realize they were victims of victims caught up in a life drama that has existed since the dawn of mankind the control of others. They can objectively see the levels of control every other religious organization has on its members. These people are empathetic towards the suffering of others but feel no need to wage any war of words or to rescue anyone. They are glad to aid others when there is a clear desire to seek the help and wisdom of these old warriors.
  
  In closing it?s important to know where you are and where others are in their evolution because the rules for relating and communicating with each other varies greatly. The inner drives and needs are very different and often lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication.
  
  ?The greatest enemy ofTen Steps To Liberate Yourself a lie are the facts? Albert Einstein
• 

  SixofNine

  I'm in phase six (out of nine phases). It's the phase where every bad thing in life is caused by your brainwashed former involvement with the WTBTS and your festering hatred of the way you were treated by the "brothers" (hah, I put those assholes in quotation marks! chew on that, elder bitches!!!) eats at your soul night and day.

  I've been stuck here in phase six for a few years, and to my knowledge, there is no way to progress from this stage w/o violence. Still, it does give life a sense of meaning.

  Perhaps I should write a paper, to help others who are leaving the witnesses?
• 

  Hortensia

  well eventually you'll get bored with that phase, and move on. Especially if you are honest and admit that some of the crap in your life was probably your own fault. I eventually got to where I stopped blaming the WTBTS for everything. I think I'm at a phase where I've moved on, but I like to connect with people who can relate to my background. what phase is that?
• 

  Brother Apostate

  As for me:

  Phase six and beyond.

  I will contribute as much as needed,

  to allow others to be what they are meant to be,

  we are all, forever, bound to each other,

  in ways we may never recognize,

  to be one life,

  one soul,

  one heart,

  one brain.

  BA
• 

  JH

  I still live through many of these phases at once. Is that normal?
• 

  Junction-Guy

  I dont think I've ever been in stage one, with the exception of my childhood.
  
  I tried stage 3, and it didnt work.
  
  Im mostly in stage 2, with a little bit of stage 4 sprinkled in (forgiveness)
  
  
  I hope I never make it to stage 5. To me that is just rationalizing, and there is no comparison between the JW org and most others, its like comparing apples and oranges.
• 

  Junction-Guy

  I will rephrase what I said.
  
  Im mostly a 2 now, but I was a 3 (1993-1997) before I discovered the real truth about the JW's.
  
  
  I went from a stage 3 to a 2 almost overnight when I came online in 1997 and discovered the "1914 literal generation" lie.
  
  I would still be a stage 3 if I never left Kentucky in 1995.
  
  I will battle in some way,shape, or form, against the WT Society for the rest of my life, so I never can see myself as a stage 5.
  
  A stage 4 would be OK, but I would prefer to go back to a 3 if I could.
  
  
  I dont much care for these stages, as the author mixed them up incorrectly
• 

  Junction-Guy

  With this list of stages there is no "one size fits all"
  
  I must further clarify what I said;
  
  I said that I tried stage 3 and it didnt work. Well what I meant was stage 3 hasnt worked here in Tennessee. It worked in Kentucky, but then again that was before I realized the real truth, so perhaps ignorance is bliss.
  
  I do think that if I had discovered all their lies in 1994, I would'nt have left Kentucky, I would have stayed there with all of my friends living a relatively happy life.