Strong nor Lets say : Strong-Valuable Relationship
To really get into this subject I have to put superficial relationships aside because if superficiality has its place in life (when we are bored), I guess it is still superficial (to call a cat a cat). Whish doesn’t mean that a superficial relationship can’t become a strong nor valuable one but it takes time nor specific natural ways or opportunity (good or bad for one or the other if not both) to get there, in being based on something effective (= a real connection) or something quiet embarrassing (= a need) because it is not really effective in friendship in fact. (also strong and valuable doesn't mean the same - and valuable seems more well ... valuable)
It’s funny because while writing I didn’t know I would already get a straight satisfying answer to me, about effectiveness of friendship from what it is based on (based on whatever need = biased / based on a real connection = true) but we still have to considered the need of connection as a need (the real connection being something not limited to needs but the ability to commune by intimate, heightened sensitivity and receptivity without needing the other one to share the same thing – whatever it is – time / entertainments / friends / paths / ways etc …). I guess it have more to do with liberty than understanding. For instance (as examples among others) :
To me a real friend is the one which wouldn’t care losing me because he/she tells me the truth about what he thinks about me (even if it’s bad) because I guess that the reason why he/she would do that wouldn’t be to hurt me, but to help me to be aware of it and taking care.
A false friend might say amen to whatever I say and do and let me sink into my stupidity or selfishness, just because he “needs” or think it is the way he/she will get my attention or reinforce the connection (so does he/she taking care of a friend or does he/she works to get something for him/herself at first?).
So tell me about what you think about it yourself and for once lets forget about : a real friend is someone who is there when you are in need
Because of course it makes sense when its possible and even more when deserved but un unknown can do that for us for free - and just that - before to disappear for whatever reason. So to me it is not really a characteristic of a “valuable friend” but at first a characteristic of a “charitable human ” one. Also this statement is biased because who we are (as too needy or too independent people whether it’s psychological nor material) to the point that people don’t really know when we are really in need or give you a chance to realised make you understand that you have to be more balanced. So whatever we might think about why someone did or did not help might be misunderstood.
Any though / history or other/different view about the subject?
Strong nor Valuable
by RAF 2 Replies latest jw friends
-
RAF
-
DJK
To me a real friend is the one which wouldn’t care losing me because he/she tells me the truth about what he thinks about me (even if it’s bad) because I guess that the reason why he/she would do that wouldn’t be to hurt me, but to help me to be aware of it and taking care.
That sums it up well for myself and my greatest and truest friend. We've reached a point where we can say, "you were/are an a$$" on an issue and we have to agree with each other. More than being there is the appreciation for being there.
-
RAF
More than being there is the appreciation for being there.
DSK I like the way you've put it short ...
It seems that what works in valuable friendship/relationship is actually the hability to be honnest in showing real concerne about what is really valuable on a global scale it's like somehow it is not really about "you" and "me" it's about being satisfied by what is essential
(not sure I'm clear here, my thinking is not over about this, but I was thinking about that while going to buy cigs wondering if on a day off the store would be oppen and still wonder why I'm leaning to this statement) ...but might elaborate when I'll find a more clear explanation if this statement is still calling me to think about it.