this is my story

by beepers 2 Replies latest jw experiences

  • beepers
    beepers

    Here I go! Forgive me if this rambels a little. I need to vent.
    First of all, let me say that I have been a jw for 10 or so years. When I started "studying" I was younger had many friends and a loving family. I was a little naive but still curious about the world around me. Any way, as soon as I became serious I started to loose my friends and family. No big surprise there! However, I was told that whatever I lost from the world I would gain 2x in Jah's org. Being a single sister this was important for me because I lost my friends and family after I was baptized. I noticed in my KH there were 3 different groups of people the very young, the very old, or the married couples. This was really hard for me! I have never been so lonely or depressed in my entire life. So, I left for awhile. I got pregnant. Because of the guilt I felt about my child dying because of me I tried to go back. I did the whole public reproof thing. I was a single parent trying to do the best that I could. I got a 2nd shift job so I didn't have to put her in daycare and her father would watch her at night. I was told that this was just an excuse to not go to the meetings. Some of the "friends" would spy on me, waiting on the street to see when I was coming or going and with whom. They would even call my house when they knew I wasn't there, just to try and get
    info from my childs father. Like how our relationship is going?
    These Brothers and Sisters barely even knew I existed when I was active and now they want to know how I'm doing? Why?

    Thanks,
    Beepers

  • think41self
    think41self

    Beepers,

    Welcome to this board I am so sorry you have had such experiences with the JW's. It is not unusual for them to be unforgiving towards "sinners" in their own hall. Especially if you're young and female...all the jealous old women will be watching you, and the twisted old men will wish they could hear about your "sins".

    If you are no longer wanting to be a JW, why can't you go back and re-establish a relationship with your family and friends you had before? I would think they would be happy to have you back. Just a suggestion.

    Anyway, keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.

    think41self

    "Not believing is not the same as not knowing."

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    Hi Beepers

    Enjoyed your story and welcome to the board.

    Only have a few comments;

    ******Some of the "friends" would spy on me*****

    These are obviously not friends of yours. They are typical JWs (not all but most) A TRUE friend would feel love for you and have your best interests at heart. They are only seeking to punish.

    So sorry you have been treated like this.

    Keep posting...you will find friendship here

    minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.

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