Well I did it today - having said to myself all week I would not go to a Church this sunday I decided to go - it became a very moving experience for someone who does not normally get "moved"!
After removing myself from the JWs over the last few years I have started to attend a local church (Nazerene - as close to non denominational as we have around here) - I stay un involved with any day to day activities just attend services 2/3 times a month - always have avoided any communion services - till today - having sat quietly by as most in attendance filed through for the wine/bread I felt moved to partake myself - I came to see that Jesus had died for me and I can acknowledge this by taking the symbols - after over 30 years of being excluded/not allowed to even think of this involving me - I cried as I dipped my 1/2 inch circle of bread into the glass - returned to my seat and quietly wept - I felt so happy and yet sad too -
I really cannot explain how I feel now today but wanted to share my days event - I am in a good place today but when things happen as today I really see the negative effects the JWs had on our lives - their going beyond the written word dictating a persons daily choices is beyond excuse -
Anyway enough rambling - today Jesus death became real to me after 30+ years of JW BS I had never truly even appreciated this sacrifice but today through a much maligned by JWs, "Easter" service I felt and understood something that no Memorial service or Watchtower had ever shown me!
Trying to live one day at a time
Patient