Funny Memories at the KH!

by whyamihere 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  whyamihere

  I really went out with a bang........lol

  It was a Thursday night meeting and I was extremely bored - planning to escape. While the second song was playing, I quickly grabbed my things and headed for the door. Hoping to not get caught by my mother...lol. I was safe and sound in my car, laying on the front seat peeking out the window seeing if anyone saw me.

  I must mention, that this car that I had was my drag race car. Yes, boys I liked to race. Anyway it was a 1986 Cutlass Supreme with a 350 small block, it was sweet! Well that summer my friends and I put the engine in ourselves. Well the funny thing was when you went over 20 miles an hour it would back fire. I mean it sounded like a shot gun going off right next to you. It was extremely loud. I never cared because it was unique and funny!

  OK, as I was driving pass the KH, my foot slipped on the accelerator. BANG! It went off. My car was passing right next to the stage area.

  A sister thought Armageddon was coming and panicked, some thought it was a drive by shooting.

  I quickly got the hell out of there in time........ Although, my mother knew it was me the whole time. Yeah, I was in alot of trouble when I got home....lol

  It was worth it!
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  JH

  I can't think of anything funny inside the KH.

  I had funny plans though inside my head. How to leave half way through the meeting without anybody noticing....
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  Justitia Themis

  A sister in our hall, who does not have the best body, walked all the way down the aisle from the ladies room to the third row from the front with her dress tucked up and into her panties, thereby exposing her whole backside. Funny enough...BUT, she was wearing a thong!!!!

  She picked up her song book, oblivious to the situation, and began singing.

  Justitia
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  darth frosty

  One time this sister was walking down the aisle back from the bathroom and her skirt fell straight to her ankles. She was a older sister, what really got me was all the younger sisters talking about if it were one of them, we would have been seeing their thongs.
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  mama1119

  My Dad used to always screw around with the corny pictures in the Watchtower articles and make jokes out of them. One time, a couple of years ago, there was a very serious article on alcoholism. Everyone was very somber and taking it to the extreme. There was this picture of an empty bear mug and a bartender trying to pour more beer in it, while the man was trying to stop him with his hand over the top of the mug. The caption said "Know when to say no". So my Dad crosses out that caption and rights underneath "No bartender, I want a fresh cold mug with each beer, this one won't do". It struck me so funny and I laughed so hard tears were pouring down my face and my Dad had to get up he was laughing so hard. At the next meeting I had to try to get reinstated, they brought it up that we laughed during meeting.

  Then another time, there was a talk on how to stay encouraged during hard times and one guy raised his hand and saind "my brother has angina, and we all know how difficult that is". I had never heard of it before so I assumed he said "my brother has a vagina" and I could not contain myself. Another time I had to get up to control laughter...
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  nonamegiven

  I have two of them and thank god neither one was me!

  My friend and I were about 9 years old and were at the hall early playing around and such. Well, there was the microphone on the ground on the long pole and all. So, he picked it up and started singing "I ain't nothin' but a hound dog, crying all the time" at the top of his little lungs. Little did he know the mic was ON!!! Everyone looked around to see what it was and he was just frozen with fear. I still laugh when I think about that.

  The second one I've heard before from others so I don't know if it happened more than once or what but I do know that I was there for this as well. This was in later years when we went to cordless mics. Most of us brothers would slip them in our inside suit pocket while the paragraph was being read. Another common practice was waiting for the double paragraphs to be read so we could hussle out to the drinking fountain and get some water or to the bathroom to take a leak. My buddy husstled off to take a leak and had no idea he left the mic on in his pocket. The audience could hear him pissing in the toilet and then flushing! When he came into the auditorium I don't think any eyes were on the stage, they were dying to see who was taking a leak.
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  justsomedude

  I've got some good ones, but I know that Ill blow my cover if I go throwing them all out there so here's just one.

  There was a rather senile brother who still loved to comment, regardless of the subject matter. I dont think that anyone really wanted to crush his excitment for coming to the meetings and because of this we got treated to some great stories from years gone by.

  "In WW2 I was sitting on a bench next to a ditch, going to the bathroom, and this little kid walked up to me and said.... "Hey Joe, do you want to buy some beads?""

  He then finished it up with his signature tag line (which I would love to add here) which he added to all of his goofy comments and then the meeting went on. This was pretty much the practice for years.
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  Frannie Banannie

  when you went over 20 miles an hour it would back fire. I mean it sounded like a shot gun going off right next to you. It was extremely loud.

  You're timing was off, chere. Oh, not the loud noise in front of the KH. That was purrrrrfect! Your timing chain was off.

  Frannie
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  misspeaches

  its those funny characters in the congregations who made it occasionally entertaining.

  Like the elderly man who called out 'Jehovah' to every retorical question, regardless if the answer should have been Jehovah or not. If his 'Jehovah' was not acknowledged he would call it out again until it was.

  Or the sister with one leg shorter than the other who would go around chasing the little kids before and after the meeting. They would run away from her shrieking as she clipclopped her way around the hall. (This sister did have a mental disability so I admit its mean for me to laugh about this...)