how do you stop saying what people want to hear?

by candidlynuts 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    as a jw.. i was good at that.. just say what is expected of me, what people want to hear until i lost my own ability to think for myself..

    i find myself still doing that and it irks me !!

    avoid confrontation, just smile and agree with whatever to keep the peace.

  • chrissee
    chrissee

    I am that way too - candidly - I want to continue to be the quiet, meek type and not ruffle any feathers.

    Someone told me the other day that I was too nice!! I told her I couldn't be mean to the person (the woman was scheduled to do a trade show this past weekend with me and canceled the day Before we were to leave, I had to scramble and find someone else!) I just said okay, to her reason and hung up. Of course, I wasn't the boss either. Just a go between. I don't think I'd ever make a good boss. I'd let someone walk all over me, cause I wouldn't want them to be mad at me!

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    It isn't easy, but it's very empowering and liberating. You soon realize that disagreeing with someone isn't going to cause any significant problems. Plus, you learn that your own opinions are just as valid and important as anyone elses. I highly recommend it.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    i'm better than i used to be but one conversation with my parents and i'm back to lil miss shake and fake.

    and its not till i'm thru talking to them that i kinda wake up and ask myself WTF? who invaded my body???

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