Illustrated Bible Stories proven RIDICULOUS!!!

by jw07 1 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • jw07

    These illustrations from the book "The Bible Said What!?" are really on point when it comes to showing up the absurdity of the bible.

    A case of excessive punishment:

    "Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. 'Go away, baldy!' they chanted. 'Go away, baldy!' Elisha turned around and looked at them, and he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of them." — 2 Kings 2:23-24

    Equal rights for women are a little underdeveloped:

    "Women should remain silent in churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church." — Corinthians 14:34-35

    Rape is a matter of money, not a matter for the courts:

    "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father 50 shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives." — Deuteronomy 22:28-29

    Watch your hands — especially in a fight:

    "If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity." — Deuteronomy 25:11-12

    God hates figs:

    "Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, 'May you never bear fruit again!' Immediately the tree withered." — Matthew 21:18-22

    Rich people aren't going to get to the Pearly Gates so easily:

    When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives or your riche neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." — Luke 14:12-14

    Jesus didn't say anything about same-sex relations:

    "Get behind me, Satan!" — Matthew 16:23

  • prologos

    picture 2 ( ! Cor. 14): that is why KHs are not called Churches. picture 3 ( Deut. 22): an improvement over having the rapist's family circumcised and then killed. picture 4 ( Deut. 25): a hands-on---off experience like the song: "when will they ever learn" double amputees? picture 6 ( Luke 14): Rich people do not believe in a resurrection, They will NOT invite lower class to their houses for dinner, not in the wt*, not in the Churches, but at least the latter have soup kitchens (not exactly what Jesus was talking about though)

    * the kh clique will disapprove, and of course wt jws aim for survival, not a resurrection, so the invitation instructions do not apply to them anyway. It is comical to have the mandatory service meeting talk on hospiitality, the reading of that text and all the millionaires sitting there and promptly dismissing it.

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